GK: .....all of our guests were flown out to New York today by way of Lutheran Air, where flying is an uplifting experience.
SS: Okay, listen up, I'm only going to go through this once. Here at Lutheran Air, there is no first class so don't ask me about upgrades -- only upgrade I know about is when we all go to heaven and I hope that's no time soon. So every seat is the same and lunch is leftovers and don't expect filet mignon. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling above you and pull the mask toward you, don't yank on it and if you're sitting next to a child, put the child's mask on first even if this means that you yourself pass out from lack of oxygen, and don't ask why, it's just the way we do it.
FN (ON P.A.) Okay, this is Captain Olson from the cockpit. We'll be flying through some real serious -- well, you don't want to know, believe me, so forget that I said anything-- anyway, we're gonna have our hands full up here, me and my co-pilot Mrs. Olson -- so let's start out here with a little prayer and you can follow along with the prayer card in the seat pocket.
God is good and God is great,
And we pray we won't be late.
May this flight by Him be blest
And wind up somewhere in the Midwest.
As we take this journey, Lord.
We do believe you are aboard.
And if you will not pilot us,
then guide us to the nearest bus. Amen.
GK: Lutheran Air......it's the faith-based airline. Look for the planes with the sparrow on the tail.