GK: ....brought to you by TMI Airlines.....at TMI, we believe in total transparency.


SS (ON INTERCOM): Hi, I'm Brenda, and I will be your flight attendant today. Though I wasn't supposed to be working today, Alicia was, but then Alicia called me and asked me to cover her so she could get something done to her cervix. Whatever. And it's good for me to get out anyway because we have mold in our house, so I'm a little tense, and if you should make a move to disable or destroy lavatory smoke detectors, I am going to just sort of go berserk. Just so you know. Anyway. Thank you for flying T.M.I.


TR (ON INTERCOM): Hi, this is your pilot speaking. We're going to be reaching a cruising altitude of 32000 feet on our way to Phoenix today. I'm also 5,000 dollars in debt to the IRS, and I have two families. One in San Diego, and one in Trenton, New Jersey. And I'd like you to know that I have a loaded pistol up here in the cockpit, and it's concealed in my pants. Also: I spent a night in jail once for drunk and disorderly conduct. It was 1979. And it involved a horse. We'll be taking off shortly.

GK: On TMI Airline, there are no strangers. We know each other.

SS: Mr. Sanderson? Sandy Sanderson?

FN: Yes?

SS: Want to introduce you to the lady sitting next to you. Meet Shirley Daggers---- she's a 56-year-old twice-divorced Scientologist and she has rickets.

FN (LADY): I used to have rickets but I'm clear of it now.

SS: Mr. Sanderson is a left-wing Democrat, Miss Daggers, who's in favor of confiscating guns and knives and anything that can puncture the skin, and keeping them for himself, just in case.

FN (LADY): Oh my goodness. That's just wrong.

GK: At T.M.I., we believe you have a right to know. Transportation Management Incorporated.

When you fly
Across the sky,
We'll tell you where and who and why.
And who is sitting next to you.
We try to clarify.
At T.M.I.