GK: People ask me why I do a radio show like this one instead of one that's up-to-date, and they refer to this show as nostalgic, but it's not ---- it's that I don't know how to operate digital radios so I have no idea what radio sounds like now------my car radio is digital and it has about fourteen buttons and (COMPUTER BLEEPS, STATIC, BLEEPS, STATIC) I just can't get it to work. Whereas I grew up with radio with a big tuning knob and you turned it and (DIAL TURNING, STATIC IN BETWEEN BLIPS OF RADIO)---- you could listen to things
TR (ANNC): (TELEGRAPH BEEPS) Hello, Mr. and Mrs. North and South America, and all the ships at sea --- let's go to press.
-STATIC-
(SAXOPHONE)
-STATIC-
SS: ....one cup of sugar......one half cup of peanut butter.....a half cup of oatmeal.....
-STATIC-
TR: TENOR, ITALIAN
-STATIC-
(GUNSHOTS, SQUEALING TIRES, MACHINE GUN)
-STATIC-
TR: And in the letter to the Ephesians, we see this clearly, the Apostle Paul calling on believers to remain steadfast....
-STATIC-
SS: Oh Mark.
TR: Donna.
SS: I can't believe it's you. Hold me.
TR: I am holding you.
SS: Hold me tighter. Never let me go.
TR: But you're married, Donna.
SS: (BITTERLY) Don't you think I know that? I think about it every day.
-STATIC-
TR (FDR): All we have to fear.....is fear itself.
-STATIC-
SS: (REVERB) Timmy!!!??? Timmy????
FN (REVERB): I'm down at the bottom of this abandoned mineshaft, Mom-----
SS: Lassie? (WOOF) Go get Timmy. (WOOFS)
GK: You drove along in your car and you turned this big tuning knob and you found the show you wanted to listen to and that's all there was to it.....
SS: (SINGS, BREATHILY W PIANO)
Quand il me prend dans ses bras
ll me parle tout bas
Je vois la vie en rose.
GK: But withthis digital car radio, there's no tuning dial, just a bunch of buttons, some of which I don't know what they do, and I keep pressing and pressing
(DIFFERENT TEXTURES OF STATIC, WITH SOME DIGITAL BEEPS)
I understand that podcasting is very big in radio now, and flycasting, and diecasting, but I don't know about that, I'm from the old days and I just do a show like this one.....
GK:
Hey kids, let's do a show
The greatest little program in radio
Lions and tigers (SFX) on our stage
A grizzly bear (SFX) in a giant cage
"Dixie" played on a pneumatic wrench (SFX)
A dancing cow (SFX) who sings in French (SFX)
Rockets (SFX) and cannons too (SFX)
Here.....on stage....for you....
It's St. Louis.....the Fabulous Fox
We've got Shetland ponies (SFX) ridden by dogs (SFX)
A bagpiper (SFX) on a trampoline (SFX)
A zebra driving a Zamboni machine (SFX)
Dancing chickens (SFX) and dancing swans (SFX)
Orangutangs twirling batons (SFX)
And from the ceiling, genuine snow (SFX)
And welcome to our show.
A show in St. Louis at the Fabulous Fox
Mezzanine, Balcony, Orchestra, Box
Every seat is well-positioned
And for your comfort it's air-conditioned
The carpet is woven of a very plush pile
Attractive ushers in every aisle.
Music, comedy it's all here
Plus a great chandelier.
St. Louis, on route 66
Where east and west and south all mix
Where the Mississippi makes its way
The largest drainage system in the USA
As the steamboat comes around the bends
In this town you're sure to have friends
Whether you're Christian or Muslim or Jewish
Welcome to St. Louis.