GK: ......brought to you by the Professional Organization of English Majors.

SS: Hey mister---- looks like me and you is practically the last people left in the bar.

GK: You and I. Yes.

SS: Exactly. So who are you then?

GK: Who am I when? Now? Or in the past?

SS: Okay, let me put it this way? What is on your mind exactly?

GK: Right now. What's on my mind is "Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments.....love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.

SS: Yeah well, irregardless, you looking at me like that is making me feel funny.

GK: There's no such word as irregardless, but I love to hear you say it. And I don't need to look at you anymore because I've memorized you.

SS: (TWO BEATS) Boy, you sure are different. ---- (TWO BEATS) So you remember everything about me, huh?

GK: I do.

SS: What color are my eyes?

GK: An incandescent hazel, illuminating your swanlike neck and your voluptuous yet lissome figure and I remember the aura about you, what one might call a Botticellian luminosity----

SS: (DAZED) Luminosity-----

GK: Yes, an extraordinary luminosity.

SS: Nobody never called me luminous before.

GK: Nobody EVER called me luminous before.

SS: You neither?

GK: I wish it were a week ago so you and I would already know each other.

SS: "I wish it were"?? Is that good grammar?

GK: It's the best. It's the subjunctive mood.

SS: Sub---- what?

GK: Subjunctive. I suggest that you come with me and learn more.

I think it's imperative that you learn about the subjunctive.

SS: Imperative. Wow. I like that.

TR (RICO): Hey, babes, where you been? I thought you was gonna meet me inside---

SS: I changed my mind, Rico. I ain't gonna have dinner with you.

GK: I'm NOT going to have dinner with you.

TR (RICO): I'll say you're not. Get lost, jerk.

SS: I'm having dinner with him, Rico.

TR (RICO): Him???? Why would a knockout like you want to hang with a gink like him, huh? When you got a real man like me?

SS: Because he knows the subjunctive, Rico. I wish you did but you don't.

He called me ---- luminous.

TR (RICO): Hey, you can't call my girl voluminous.

SS: Beat it, Rico. I'm with him now.

GK: It takes an English major to say the words she wants to hear.

SS: Luminous-----

GK: A message from the Professional Organization of English Majors.