GK: ....brought to you by Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
So there you are milking cows one morning (MILKING, MILK HITS PAIL, MOO), you a liberal arts graduate, a musician, trapped on your dairy farm in Manitowoc, and you're in the cheese business ---- artisan cheese ---- hand-churned (SFX) with a Brie that wins purple ribbons at the Brie festivals (TR FRENCH, JUDGING, SUPERBS) and it's made from milk from French cows (SFX) and it's in high demand even at $100/pound, and so is your home-brewed beer (BUBBLING) called Manitowoc Brown, which you bottle yourself (MACHINE, FOUR STEPS, REPEATED) and which sells for $10 a bottle. You're earning money hand over fist, enough that you can buy a Guarneri violin (RK VIOLIN), a rare Guarneri, and an 1823 Strademeyer harmonica (HL HARP), and you play beautiful duets with yourself, playing Puccini's "O mio babbino caro" and one morning you hear on the barn radio that (RADIO GIBBERISH) there is going to be a talent contest in Milwaukee and you come in from
the barn (PIGS) FN: Outta my way. (CHICKEN FLURRY) and you announce to your family that you're going to enter the talent contest and they (SS & TR: Hee hee hee hee hee. Haw haw haw haw haw. ETC) laugh their heads off so (FOOTSTEPS, DOOR SLAM) you go out to the woodshed (FN: I'll show them! I'm not only about cheese!! I'm an artist!) and you tune the Guarneri (VIOLIN TUNING) and you play scales on the Strademayer (HL SCALES)...
GK: ... and you start playing (DUET) playing a tune and you get engrossed in the song and time passes and the cows
go unmilked (MOO OF PAIN) and one of the French cows breaks out of its stall (CRUNCH, FRENCH MOO) and your dog Old Shep tries to make her go back (BARKS, FRENCH MOO. BARKS, SARCASTIC FRENCH COW. WHINE, SARCASTIC FRENCH COW LAUGHTER) and the dog is humiliated and the cow heads for the house to call 911 and sets off an alarm (SFX) and you jump up to go in the house and then you turn to reach for a pitchfork and you don't see the Guarneri and (WOOD CRUNCH) it's busted and in your shock you swallow the harmonica (BIG GULP, PAIN) and it goes into your left lung and (HARMONICA SOUR CHORD, IN, OUT, WITH RESPIRATION) doctors decide it can't be removed and so for the rest of your life (HARMONICA, SOUR CHORD, IN, OUT) you will be out of tune. ---- Wouldn't this be a good time for a piece of rhubarb pie?
Yes, nothing gets the taste of shame and humiliation out of your mouth like
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
But one little thing can revive a guy,
And that is a piece of rhubarb pie.
Serve it up, nice and hot.
Maybe things aren't as bad as you thought.
ALL:
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.