GK: .....after a message from Thompson Tooth Tape....it's the best method yet for cleaning teeth.
SS: How are you doing today, Mr. Johnson? I see you haven't been in for a cleaning for awhile.
TR: No----- I------ I've been busy.
SS: Open wide.
TR: Ahhhhh.
SS: You haven't been flossing, Mr. Johnson.
TR: I've been really busy.
SS: Uh huh. Open wide. (TR OPENS) Right. I'd say you haven't been flossing for about ten years. I see celery stuck down behind a gum here.(MOUTH OPEN) ----- Way back here. No, actually it's moss. You have fungi growing between these two molars, Mr. Johnson. And there seems to be a long vine going down your throat.
TR: I was wondering what that was.
SS: It's a vine, that's what it is. I'm going to tilt you back in the chair now------- okay?
TR: Okay.
SS: Comfortable?
TR: (GROANS)
SS: Would you like anesthesia?
TR: Do I need anesthesia?
SS: I don't know. We'll see. I'm going to ask you to lower your trousers now, Mr. Johnson.
TR: Okay. (HE STRAINS)
SS: All the way down, Mr. Johnson.
TR: All the way?
SS: And your underwear, too.
TR: (STRAINS)
SS: Oh oh. Just as I thought. It's coming right out the other
end.
TR: The vine?
SS: Yes. I'm going to tug gently on it, Mr. Johnson. Here
we go. (TUG TUG) Does that hurt?
TR: It feels odd.
SS: I imagine. You like to eat beans, Mr. Johnson?
TR: Sure.
SS: You've got a beanstalk growing through you. I'm going to pull on it (SFX) ----- does that hurt?
TR: A little.
SS: Okay. You want anesthesia for this?
TR: No, I guess not.
SS: Okay. I'm going to grab hold of this end down here and pull very hard very fast, okay?
TR: Okay.
SS: That's the best way to get it out.
TR: Okay.
SS: Ready? One. Two. THREE. (BIG THWOP, TR HIGH SIGH OF PAIN AND SHUDDER). Oh my. Looks like it was wrapped around your spleen. Mr. Johnson? (SLAPS) Mr. Johnson.
GK: Too busy to floss? There may be a terrible price to be paid down the road. Use Thompson Tooth Tape to get teeth cleaner than clean in just two minutes in the morning, two minutes at night.
CD: (SINGS)
Thompson Tooth Tape
Morning and night
Makes your teeth bright and clean
With nothing growing down around your spleen.