GK: Let's come in here with a message from Fritz Electronics. Every day, on average, two hundred new apps come on the market, all of which of course are useful.
(SHIP'S HORN, GULLS)
SS: Wow, San Francisco. The Golden Gate Bridge. What a view.
TR: Yes, I found it with ViewPoint.
SS: The scenic app.
TR: Right.
(FOOTSTEPS)
FN: Hello, order for Melanie?
SS: Yes, Hi!
FN: Here is your Chardonnay - a very muscular Santa Clara Chardonnay but with a sense of humor, and an Oregon Pinot Noir, very delicate, somewhat needy, but with a hint of sarcasm.
SS: Thanks! Great.
FN: No problem. Have a good one! (FOOTSTEPS AWAY)
TR: How did you order wine?
SS: You don't have WineLine?
TR: No.
SS: It's great. I got it a year ago. Unfortunately-----
TR: What?
SS: I'm just looking around for a public toilet. I should've thought of this fifteen minutes ago.
TR: There's one two minutes and ten seconds away. Up that hill. Take the diagonal sidewalk, and past the statue.
SS: How do you know that?
TR: It's Tinkle.
SS: Tinkle---- oh, I've heard of that.
TR: It's from Twitter. It's great.
SS: I've got to get it. ---- (FOOTSTEPS) Oh oh.
TR: What?
SS: I just felt rain.
TR: Well, we can go stand under that tree up there.
SS: I've got a better idea. (HELICOPTER DESCENDING, LANDS, LOUDLY, NEARBY. RUNNING FOOTSTEPS AND STOP)
FN: Melanie?
SS: Right.
FN: Here's your umbrella.
SS: Thanks.
FN: No problem. (RUNNING FOOTSTEPS, HELICOPTER TAKES OFF)
SS: Sorry about the noise. Usually they do it by drone.
TR: What app is that?
SS: Four-gottn. Anything you need. Umbrella, a roll of quarters, clean socks, whatever.
TR: I've heard of it. Cool. (BELL DONG)
SS: Is somebody texting you? (DONG)
HM: Hi. Is your name Danny?
TR: Yeah, that's me.
SS: Who is she, Danny?
TR: It's an app called ShopNSwap. She's the new you, Melanie.
SS: But we just met! This is our first date! You've only known me for thirty-five minutes.
TR: Thirty-six. I know, but it's just not working for me.
HM: Goodbye, Melanie. I'll take over now. ---- Hi, hero. Wow. You are so big and strong. (BRIDGE)
GK: If you feel that maybe you have too many apps, that perhaps they are running your life, maybe you should try AppSnap from Fritz. AppSnap can tell when you're spending too much time on your cellphone and it steps in and takes action.
FN (E-VOICE): PUT YOUR PHONE ON THE GROUND AND STEP AWAY FROM YOUR PHONE.
GK: AppSnap will not take No for an answer. If you don't obey, it sets off a powerful alarm. (FEEDBACK) An alarm that gives you a terrible headache.
FN (E-VOICE): STEP AWAY FROM YOUR PHONE.
GK: And AppSnap takes over your life for the next hour.
FN (E-VOICE): WALK AWAY AND LOOK AT THE TREES. LOOK AT THE SKY AND THE CLOUDS. BE HAPPY. YOU ARE IN SAN FRANCISCO AND IF YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY HERE, THEN YOU ARE IN NEED OF HELP. SHALL I CALL 9-1-1? NO? GOOD. KEEP WALKING.
GK: From Fritz Electronics, everything you need is on the Fritz.
HM (SINGS): Youtube, Google, Yahoo, Yelp
Mobile apps are there to help
Instagram, Facebook, Twitter
But when you need to reconsider
Cause your apps give you fits,
Time to call for Fritz.