GK: (HORNS, TRAFFIC) New York traffic----- it gets worse and worse ---- moving 2 miles per hour through long tunnels ---- and the subway can be tough too ----LONG BRAKES.... FN INDECIPHERABLE ANNC ----- meanwhile you see Wall Street tycoons (CHOPPER) flying in from the Hamptons ----- or coming up the East River on hydrofoils (SFX) ---- but you can't afford that but by 2019, there'll be a way to get to work in just seconds. Engineers have retrofitted an old sewer line that ran from the city to Schenectady and made it into the world's fasted pneumatic tube. Here's a trip from downtown Schenectady to Times Square. (LOCKS, HISS. THEN WHOOSH, HIGH-PITCH, THEN WHOOSH OF AIR BRAKES, AND STOP. HISS. UNLOCK) It means living in Schenectady, where for the price of a one-bedroom in Manhattan, you can buy a Victorian mansion and hire servants, and you will save yourself an hour, two hours, three hours a day. By 2019, the pneumatic tube will be in place, so now is the time to buy property in Schenectady while prices are reasonable. Don't wait. Call Latimer Brothers Realty and get in on the bottom floor. Pneumatic New York Matic. It's coming in 2019. (WHOOSH)
KM (SINGS): If a man is well-connected he
Commutes from Schenectady.