GK: Out where I grew up on the open prairie, radio was our only entertainment, that and Old Maid and Authors. We tuned in Maynard Speece and Good Neighbor Time promptly at five a.m. and got the livestock report.....
TR: Turning to the livestock market, 350-375 lbs. boars, 12.55-13.25, and 300-350 pounders going at 11.75 to 13.15. And canners and cutters, 150-175 pounders, 10.35 to 10.75.
GK: And then the Harmonettes came in with Inspiration Time.....
GQ (SING):
It is well..... with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
GK: Inspiration Time, brought to you as always by Baltimore Baked Beans.
GQ (SINGS):
Baltimore Baked Beans are tasty
And they're also good for you
Give you vim and vigor as you grow bigger
And keep you regular, too.
GK: I loved to stay home sick from school so I could listen to the radio hour after hour, shows like.....
TR (ANNC): TIMMY OF THE JUNGLE....(JUNGLE SOUNDS)
TR (BOY): I think I'll walk up this dark road and see what's in that deserted barn over there.(WOOF) Come on, Rex. (FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL) The sign says, DANGER. Oh well. What the heck. (WOOF) Oh wow. Look, Rex. An old Curtiss bi-plane. I wonder if it'll still fly. (ENGINE COUGHS AND STARTS, ROARS) Oh boy! (QUICKSAND) Oh no! My feet --- I'm sinking in quicksand! (SUCKING) Where did that come from??? Only one thing can save me now---- (REVS UP ENGINE, AND PULLS HIMSELF OUT OF QUICKSAND) WOW! Great! I'm free!!! Wheeee!!!! But where's Rex?? (WOOF, OFF) Oh no. There's an alligator chasing him ---- I'm coming, Rex!!!! (PLANE DIVE)....(MUSICAL BRIDGE)
GK: But of course the epitome were the shows that originated from New York. The very name, New York, made us shiver with excitement. New York. There we were, living in a basement, a hole in the ground, out on the prairie, milking the cows (MOOS) and feeding the pigs (PIG) and collecting the eggs (HENS) and listening to Dad read from the Old Testament (SWEDISH) usually something about suffering, New York just seemed magical to me. (BIG BAND THEME)
TR: Live! From TOWN HALL on West 43rd Street in New York City! It's time for WHERE IS IT? The game show in which contestants compete for cash prizes by showing their mastery of geography! And here is your host -----the famous columnist for the New York Mirror, Dorothy Kilgallen. (TAPED APPLAUSE)
SS: Thank you, thank you, so much. Wonderful to be back with you all. Who's our first contestant, Sid?
TR: Back from last week---- going for the grand prize of $10,000 ----Gerald M. Pisces of the Bronx. (TAPED APPLAUSE))
SS: Boy, you must be excited today, Gerald! Ten thousand smackeroos!
FN: I couldn't sleep. Boy, have I been studying up for this one. I've had my head in an atlas all week.
SS: And are you ready?
FN: I guess so.
SS: For ten thousand dollars, Gerald---- where is Minnesota?
FN: Where is what?
SS: Minnesota.
FN: Oh boy. I knew you were gonna ask me a hard one. Do I get a clue? Is it on the West Side?
SS: No, It's not in New York.
FN: Is it near Buffalo?
SS: Here's another clue: Lake Superior.
FN: Oh, boy. This is impossible. How am I supposed to know this?
SS: Take a guess, Gerald. Time is running out.
FN: Florida. (BAD BUZZER)
SS: That's Sarasota. Minnesota is in the Midwest, at the headwaters of the Mississippi River, near the Canadian border.
FN: Oh, gosh. Well, you learn something new every day.
SS: Tell Gerald what he won, Sid----
TR: Gerald, you'll go home with a miniature Statue of Liberty and a tablet and a No. 2 pencil! (BAND PLAYOFF)
GK: The New York shows were so much classier than the local shows. The New York shows had big stars and our local shows were just sort of low-key, (ORGAN THEME)
TR (ANNC): And now Jorgensen Grommets and Fasteners brings you LORRAINE ANDERSON, LUTHERAN ALTO ---- the story of a woman with a secret past and her search for redemption as a wife and mother in the village of Smallville ---- (THEME UNDER)
Brought to you by the Good Shepherd Home.
GQ (SINGS):
I see big sunny rooms, no steps or stairs,
Many levels of senior care,
And I think I would like
The Good Shepherd Home.
Nutritious meals, easy to chew,
Toilets with hand railings, too.
All there for you
At the Good Shepherd Home. (BRIDGE)
GK: The Harmonettes were so classy, you wondered why they didn't go to New York and get on big-time radio. And then they went: one night, I turned on the radio and I recognized them ---- on the air-----
GQ (SINGS):
Off we go into the wild blue yonder,
Climbing high into the sun.
Here they come, zooming to meet our thunder;
At 'em girls, give 'him the gun!
TR (ANNC): And now Jorgenson Clasps & Fasteners brings you ----- THE FLYING ANGELS ----- America at war in the Pacific .....and out of their secret airbase on Howland Island (PROP PLANES, PASSING), world-famous aviatrixes, Ali, Amanda, Katie and Kate ---- the Lady Aces in the fair.....(PROP PLANES, HUMMING)
KATIE: I'm going in, Angel. Cover me.
KATE: Got your back, Babs. You go, girl.
(PLANE DIVING)
ALI: Angel, this is Lipstick. We've got Zeros coming in at two o'clock high. Six of them.
AMANDA: I'm heading for cloud cover, Lipstick. I'll come around from behind.
KATE: Where's Babs? I don't see her.
AMANDA: Don't worry about Babs. She'll be just fine.
(ANTI-AIRCRAFT SHELLS EXPLODING)
ALI: Those anti-aircraft shells! They're shooting at Babs!
KATIE: You got a Zero on your tail, Lipstick. Hold steady now..... (MACHINE GUN, EXPLOSION) Got him.
ALI: Thank goodness you saw him, Babs.
KATIE: My pleasure. Let's get out of here. (PLANE DIVING, INTO BRIDGE)
TR: A few hours later.....in the officers' club ---- (CLINK OF GLASSES)
FN: I never knew they had women flying combat missions----
KATIE: You ever see men try to fly in formation? Huh? Men have no sense of spatial relationships.
KATE: A woman can find her way in and out of cloud banks. Day or night, rain or shine. ---
AMANDA: Here's to you, girls.
GQ (HUMS A NOTE AND SINGS, TO "AULD LANG SYNE"):
To old wartime pals, my dears,
To old wartime days.
When we were young and had no fear
A glass of beer we'll raise.
Away up through the clouds we flew
Away up in the air,
I'd do it all again, my dear,
If I knew you'd be there. (BRIDGE)
GK: They starred in FOUR ANGELS year after year, sweethearts of song who also could blow enemy planes out of the sky ---- harmony and homicide ----- a rare combination and then one day -----(FN TAPS) ----- it was all over. They flew away and never came back. I never found out what happened until I got a job in radio myself, at WLT, and there they were, the Harmonettes, except they'd changed their name to the Mississippi Misses, and they were sponsored by Rice Krispie bars.
GQ (SINGS):
We are glad to be in Minnesota
Midst the corn and wheat
On the farm and moving to a slower beat
Live among the turkeys and the chickens
In the open air
Lying on our backs beneath the stars
And we sure are enjoying our Rice Krispie bars.
GK: I was an announcer and they were the talent and I loved to listen to their stories about New York. --- So what was it like, New York??? You probably knew lots of famous people.
KATIE: They were all over us, like flies.
KATE: Harold Rome....Irving Berlin....Memphis Minnie..... Stella Dallas....Julie London.....Sydney Goldstein.
AMANDA: Gary Indiana..... Eugene Oregon.....Victoria de los Angeles........
GK: So what happened that you got fired?
ALI: We were rivals of the Lennon Sisters who were a girls' singing group but they were Communists and they had spies following us.
AMANDA: And they sicced the cops on us when Katie accidentally stole a glazed doughnut at the diner.
KATIE: I was having a cup of coffee and I started eating the doughnut and got a sugar rush and I jumped up and walked out without paying.
KATE: And two minutes later there were red lights flashing and she was in handcuffs and the TV cameras were there.
KATIE: Anyway, I've got no regrets.
GK: Once they were radio stars in New York and then they were back in Minnesota and yet they were still upbeat and cheerful. That's what I loved about them. I knew I'd never make it to the big time but I knew that the small time would be good enough. Life is what you make it. That's what I learned from the Harmonettes.
ALL: (SOUTH OF THE BORDER)
We are in Radio
We are a show
Yes it is NPR, and how wild we are you'll never know
We're dancing on tables
We're dancing on graves
We're rather unstable
Thanks to radio waves.
Ay yi yi yi
We once were shy
Ay yi yi yi
Ay yi yi yi.