GK: New Yorkers are nervous because two New Yorkers are running for President and doing pretty well so far and the idea of the Leader of the Free World coming to New York on a regular basis and the traffic jams that would cause is worrying a lot of people. In other cities, the arrival of the President is an occasion for civic pride, and in New York it just adds half an hour to your commute, maybe more.

Secretary Clinton----

SS (HILLARY): If I am elected, I will be flying into White Plains, not into LaGuardia, and I'll be heading up the road to Chappaqua, fifteen minutes away, and I can promise you I will not be causing any traffic jams in the city. Because I have been in traffic jams. I know what it's like. I don't ride around in a limo. I take public transportation.

GK: Mr. Trump----

TR (TRUMP): When I am elected president, I am going to keep my office right here in New York, Fifth Avenue and 56th Street, because let me tell you, America is fed up with Washington. Who wants it? I don't. I've been to the White House on any number of occasions and it's small, it's got lousy plumbing, and you've got crowds of people going through there all day, and no idea who they are or what they have in mind, it's crazy. So I'm going to stay right here in my apartment.

SS (HILLARY): The President of the United States needs to be in the White House in Washington D.C., it's as simple as that. That's where the government is. So just deal with it.

TR (TRUMP): The government is wherever I am and that's how it's going to be and let me add, it's going to be great. We are going to put policy in there ---- it'll be beautiful---- people are gonna love it. That's why America wants Donald Trump. No one else is even close. We need a great world leader and that is Trump.

SS (HILLARY): You have no idea what you're talking about. None. You talk like some angry cabdriver ----

TR (TRUMP): Cabdrivers love me. Black people love me. Look around. We're gonna bring the capitol back to Manhattan, and I am gonna sell Air Force One and I am gonna fly in the big plane with TRUMP on the side of it and we're gonna make America great again, like it used to be. Eisenhower. Nice guy, right? I like Ike. But he was a leader. That's what we don't have today. Look around you.

SS (HILLARY): Foreign policy, you know nothing about it. All your ideas you got from watching Beavis and Butthead.

TR: Here's my foreign policy: Don't be a dope. Be tough and get smart.

SS: You're so dumb, you look in the mirror and you say, What you looking at? I'm not sure you could even pass a blood test. On the questionnaire where it said, Sex, M or F, you crossed out M and F and wrote in Tuesday.

TR: I've been so nice to you, but no more. No more Nice Guy. You are a total joke. What a dummy.

SS: If there were a Nobel Prize for stupid, you'd win it. You tried to enter the Ugly Contest and they said, Sorry, no professionals.

TR: You are a total loser. Look at the numbers. Look at the numbers. Read em and weep.

SS: You are crazy.

TR: You are not from here. You're from Chicago. Face it. I am the only true New Yorker in the race. Me. You? Arkansas. What kind of a deal is that? Arkansas!!! You wouldn't know where Queens is if it came up and kicked you in the butt. Which, by the way, those slacks are doing you no favors. No favors.

GK: That's all the time we have, thank you both, for coming. (BAND PLAYOFF)