GK: It's spring, it's the season of love, and you meet a guy online---- (SS: "Damaged but willing to try again." Well, okay---- why not?) and he's nice. Sort of serious about wine, but okay.

TR (IRA-ESQUE): Taste that malty oak flavor. Very muscular, but with subversive notes of maple syrup, French lentils, and okra. What do you think. Linda?

SS: It's good. I like it.

GK: And then things come to a serious point.

SS: Would you like to come over?

TR: To your place?

SS: To my place.

TR: Where is your place?

SS: I'm on Staten Island. About 15 minutes from the ferry.

TR: Aha.

SS: Where do you live?

TR: Far Rockaway.

SS: Oooooooh.

TR: I mean, I could do it. We'd take the ferry and walk to your place.

SS: Right.

TR: And then I'd take the ferry back to Manhattan. Walk over and catch the No. 4 and take that to Fulton Street.

SS: You can catch the A train at Fulton.

TR: Right. Take that to Far Rockaway. That's about an hour.

SS: Or you could take the bus across the Verrazano.

TR: That'd be longer.

SS: What are you doing?

TR: Googling it.

SS: How long does it take?

TR: Two hours nineteen minutes.

SS: Wow.

TR: Long way.

SS: Yeah.

TR: I like you a lot, Linda.

SS: I like you.

TR: But, two hours and nineteen minutes each way is too long. I'm sorry.

SS: You're right. (SAD CHORDS)

GK: No need to give up on romance just because public transportation is complicated. Now the MTA is offering a Singles Car on all rush-hour trains. Generally the last car on the train, and when you get aboard you may find your true love right there. (FN: WATCH FOR THE CLOSING DOORS, PLEASE. BING BONG, DOORS CLOSE, TRAIN RUMBLES)

SS: Hi. Mind if I sit down?

TR: No. Go right ahead. (HEART POUNDING) (REVERB) Wow. What a looker.

SS: (REVERB) My dreamboat. Right here on the F train. (PIANO GLISS AND WALTZ)

SS: And that's how I met Jerry. We both work in Midtown. He lives in Queens at 179th Street, I'm at 169th, one stop away. Riding back and forth twice a day, we gradually got to know each other's likes and dislikes. I read the paper over his shoulder. After six months, he put his arm around me. A year later, I invited him to my apartment for supper. We took it slow because that's how the F train is. We were engaged for six years and then we got married. We moved into his apartment which is next door to his parents'. It's nice.

GK: Romance on the subway. Last car on the train. Why not give it a chance? (BING BONG)