A lady who lives in Seattle
Will not eat fish, fowl or cattle.
No meat, blood or bone,
Or greens that were grown
On or near the site of a battle.
There was an old fellow of Bellingham
So stubborn that there was no telling him.
His wife said, "My dear,
I wish you weren't here,"
He ignored her and she wound up selling him.
A powerful girl of Puyallup
Waits for her lover to call up
And say he'll be late
And she stands by the gate
And decks him with one mighty wallop.
A Google boat heading for Mercer,
The captain could not reverse her
And so the boat slammed
In the dock, he'd programmed
Her forward and could not find the cursor.
There was a young man from Tacoma
Who was sure that he had melanoma
And hopped in his car,
Drove to the E.R.,
They said, No, it is just Oklahoma.
A horn player down in Astoria
Arose in a state of euphoria
And happily honked us
A Pachelbel Sanctus
And also Benedictus and Gloria.
A young fellow left Puget Sound
To move to Spokane and he found
That he hated blue sky
And the air was too dry
And the coffee improperly ground.
A young man climbed up Mount Rainier
On a day that was perfectly clear
And through his spyglass
He watched a jackass
Steal his bicycle and disappear.
A fellow from Snoqualmie Pass
Would often pass vast clouds of gas
And did once, alas,
At a Catholic mass
And disastrously stained all the glass.
A young fellow from Walla Walla
Found Christian faith too hard to falla
And do what Christ says
So he put on a fez
And is happier following Allah.
There is an old man on the Rez
Who was here to welcome Cortez
And he took Captain Cook
Around for a look
And Lewis and Clark, so he says.
A lady who lived in Vancouver
Drank two quarts of stain remover
And did not get ill
And vomit, but still,
It didn't do much to improve her.
There was a young man of Mount Baker
Who thought of becoming a Quaker,
But he couldn't keep silent,
And often was violent,
And did not believe in a Maker.
There was an old man in Gray's Harbor
Who fell asleep at the barber
Who cut off his hair
Up here, and down there:
It's lucky the scissors weren't sharper.