GK: ...after a word from the Ketchup Advisory Board.

(MUSIC)

TR: These are the good years for Barb and me. I went to a casino and won three hundred bucks playing Battleship and I used it to buy an electric shaver that works really well on my head. Barb says that a shaved head really turns her on, though I haven't really seen evidence of that. Barb's brother is in the hospital recovering from knee replacement surgery and I went in to visit and he asked me to turn on the Red Sox game so I did, he's a big Boston fan, and I turned the vertical control so the picture would keep flipping and I walked away with the remote and the call button. That's to pay him back for being such a know-it-all. So he jumped out of bed to fix the TV and now they have to do it all over again. We should've been happy, but one morning I found Barb staring into the bathroom mirror.

SS: Jim, do you think my teeth are dull?

TR: I don't know. Bite me and I'll tell you.

SS: No, I mean, dull, colorless, drab. I had lunch with Robin today and her teeth absolutely dazzled. They looked like a toilet in a cleanser commercial.

TR: Yours are just fine.

SS: You mean, "pretty good for someone my age." Oh Jim, I want to be attractive. Did you know that people with bright beautiful teeth earn 20% more than those with dull lifeless teeth? Robin told me that.

TR: Honey, Robin's teeth look like they're fiberglass. So do her gums. Why spend thousands of dollars to look like a dental display at a Science Fair?

SS: Robin said she uses one of those Water Pics to keep her teeth clean.

TR: Barb, the idea of using a hydraulic device in the mouth is nothing a sensible person should consider. You could swallow that thing and suddenly your body would balloon up and you'd have water shooting out of your ears. Why not simply increase your intake of ketchup?

SS: Doesn't ketchup stain teeth?

TR: Barb, ketchup has natural mellowing agents that enhance attractiveness from within. What do you say we soak our teeth in some ketchup right now?

RD (SINGS):

These are the good times, for you and your mommy.

Happy happy wishes, a regular tsunami.

Life is flowing, like ketchup on pastrami....

GK: Ketchup- for the good times.

RD: Ketchup... Ketchup..