GK: Our show comes to you from New York which is not where we are from.

TR (MINN): Oh no. Gosh no.

SS (MINN): You'd have to pay me a whole lot to live here.

TR (MINN): I was talking to my sister-in-law who used to live there..... and she said.....

GK: You can tell by the word "talk" that we're not from here. In Minnesota we say "talk".

SS (MINN): Now you're talking.

GK: In New York they say "TALK".

FN (NY): Well, look who's talking. Where'd you learn to talk like that?

GK (NY): What you talking about?

FN (NY): You're talking through your hat. You're not from here.

GK: New Yorkers are a different breed. Here is a scene at a gate at Laguardia where they're boarding a plane to Minneapolis-St. Paul ----- here are the Minnesotans in the boarding area ----- (SOFT MURMURS.

TR: Oh excuse me.I'm sorry. I didn't see you there.

FN: You go ahead.

SS: No, you were first.

TR: You go ahead, you've got all those big bags.

GK: And here are the New Yorkers

SS: Watcher back! Coming through.

TR: Excuse ME. Let me through.

SS: Excuse me. I need extra time.

FN: Doris!!! Doris!!! I've got to be with my wife. Doris!!!

GK: All New Yorkers head for the Priority line ---- New Yorkers need to get on the plane before you do, they have three carry-ons, two of them concealed, and they need the overhead space (SFX, STUFFING BIG BAGS INTO OVERHEAD---- FN (NYER): You mind if I take your bag out of here and stick it under your seat? Thanks.)...

GK: ...Its not that they're pushy, it's that they have a heightened sense of crisis. In New York there's a crisis every day, sometimes three or four of them. A building blows up. There's a gas leak and people ignore it, they don't want to get involved, and suddenly (EXPLOSION). Some of the water mains go back to Victorian times and ever so often a pipe bursts. (SFX) And suddenly your ride on the C train becomes the flume at the amusement park (SFX). There are giant rats in New York due to enriched garbage because of more cheese and bacon in the salads and there have been rats who climbed out of people's toilets and into their apartments.

FN: I'll be right there, honey ----- just going to use the john first. (DOOR CLOSE) I'll be out in a couple of minutes.

SS: Why are you taking a book in there?

FN (INSIDE): Never mind. I'll be out in a minute.

GK: Actually he'll be out in about 15 seconds.


SS: What are you doing????


GK: That takes care of the rat but now he's shot up the toilet (HIGH-PRESSURE SPRAY) and they've got water all over the place. And more rats popping out (RATS) (GUNSHOTS) -----

If it weren't for the night life, a person might almost rather live someplace else. But where else can you get really good shrimp curry for $13 delivered by a kid on a bike (BIKE HORN) to your apartment at midnight?

So people endure the crises. They own dogs to protect them from rats (WOOF) and they walk the dogs in the park (OUTDOOR TRAFFIC SFX) and now and then a water main bursts (SFX) and the rats get bigger and some of them smell the shrimp curry and they chase the boy on the bicycle (SFX, RAT SNARLS, BOY BIKING FASTER, HONKING) and New Yorkers love it because it gives them something to talk about.

SS (NYER): Talk about.

FN (NYER): You mean talk about.

TR (BLOOMBERG): Talk about water mains, I saw a rat that got caught in a water main. We were talking about that for months.