TR (ANNC): Once again, Rainbow Motor Oil and the Rainbow Family of Automotive Products presents...The Story of Bob, A Young Artist. (PLATES, SCRAPING OF SPOON. TR MUTTERING)

SS: Here. Have some more green bean casserole with melted mozzarella, Bob. There's plenty more. And cornbread. And then banana cream pie a la mode for dessert.

GK: I'm stuffed, Berniece. I couldn't possibly.

SS: You've got to eat when it's cold out, Bob.

GK: I'm trying to cut down on dairy for a while.

TR (POPS): Hand me his green bean casserole. Rex and me'll finish it up, won't we, boy. (DOG COLLAR JINGLE, LEG THUMP, PANTING) Here you go, boy. (SNARFING)

GK: Oh for pity sake-

SS: I was going to save that for lunch tomorrow. I had the baggies all laid out.

TR (POPS): Too late, Berniece. (PANTING, SLURP) Rex sure loves his melted cheese.

GK: Would you mind-?

TR (POPS): There's an idea - Puppy Chow with Cheese.

GK: Can you please try to control him, Berniece? I'm expecting Mr. Fellows to come over. The music director at Third Lutheran.

SS: Oh? Where is Third Lutheran? I never heard of it.

GK: Well, it used to be called First Lutheran, but - you know - they're Lutherans. They were more comfortable with being Third.

SS: Oh. That big boxy church that looks like a storage facility.

GK: That's it. Anyway, they've asked me to compose an anthem for Lent.

TR (POPS): Who lent you their clothes?

SS: Lent, Pops. Lent.

TR (POPS): That's what I said- whoever lent you those pants did you no favors, that's for sure.

SS: Bob is composing an anthem for the Lutherans!

TR (POPS): What's wrong with the one we got? Huh?

SS: It's for Lent.

TR (POPS): (SINGING W. DOG HOWLING) "O say can you see-by the dogs curly tails-"

GK: Oh for pity sake- stop that -

SS: When is this Mr. Fellows coming over, Bob?

GK: Any minute, so if you wouldn't mind, Berniece - could you take the plastic cover off the sofa?

SS: Well, that's my best sofa, Bob-

GK: I know, it just looks so tacky-

SS: It looks beautiful. I've had that sofa for twenty years and it looks brand-new-!


GK: There he is-could you get Pops and Rex out of here? And the casserole. Please?

TR (POPS): Who are you to talk, Wide Ride? (DOG PANTING, COLLAR JINGLE, LEG THUMPING) Look- you upset Rex and he took a little tinkle on the carpet-

GK: Oh boy.

TR (POPS): Good thing he didn't poop. - Whoops. Spoke too soon. (DOORBELL)

SS: Now Pops, take Rex outside. Let me get some paper towels...(FOOTSTEPS AWAY)

GK: Get the dog out of here. (WOOFING). Beat it, Rex. (GROWLING, SNAPPING) (DOORBELL) Why can't I have guests over with a little privacy, for crying out loud?


GK: Hello- Mr Fellows.

FN: Hello.

GK: This way- (FOOTSTEPS) My studio--- This is where I compose. (DOOR CLOSE) There. Sorry about the chaos out there. A couple of relatives. They dropped in unexpectedly- have a seat.

FN: Thanks- Bob, I was trying to call you-

GK: This is where I do all of my composing. Other people do it on computers. I don't. I just feel that you lose that tactile connection with the music that you get with a pencil on paper, you know?

FN: Right - Bob, it's about the-

GK: I finished the first draft this morning-and I know you need it for choir practice Wednesday night- but I work very fast when I get close to deadline. I'm like a whirling dervish.

FN: Bob- I wanted to explain that-

GK: Just sit down at the piano and have a look and tell me what you think.

FN: Okay. -


It is Lent

According to the New Testament,

An event that is meant

As a time to repent.

Repent! Repent!

And lament

Man's descent.

And as a time to sacrifice,

Like instead of sirloin steak you could eat brown rice.

To embrace poverty in a land of plenty-

Like instead of a venti

You could have a grande latte, and instead of whole

milk, you could ask for two percent.

GK: There's more on page two.

FN: I see that.

GK: Is it okay?

FN: It's fine, Bob. It's just that- we decided to go in a different direction.

GK: Oh?

FN: You know L. Ron Hansen?

GK: The composer? Yes, I do.

FN: He sent us a chorale and the church council looked at it and it's simple and it's singable and it's exactly what we wanted and so the council decided to go with that.

GK: L. Ron Hansen is not a Christian, just for your information. He's a Zoroastrian. I think you should know that.

FN: I'm aware of that, but we really like what he wrote.

GK: Have you met him?

FN: I haven't.

GK: Old guy, balding on top and still he hangs onto that long ponytail----- very strange guy.

FN: Well, be that as it may. His chorale goes:


Once again Lent is upon us.

Once again Lent is upon us.

Prepare our hearts for a big surprise.

Once again Lent is here.

GK: That's it?

FN: The council loved it. We sang it over and over and the more you sing it the more compelling it becomes.

GK: Repetition. I'm familiar with the technique. It's what L. Ron has been doing for thirty years. One phrase becomes hypnotic.

FN: Exactly.

GK: It induces a sort of numbness. A mental torpor that some would call blissful and I would call stupor.

FN: Well, I don't know-----

GK: I thought you had commissioned me to write an anthem-

FN: We talked about it, yes, but then he came in with his and----

GK: And he's going to get the $400 that you offered me----

FN: I'm sorry but I wish you could've been there at the council meeting and seen how everyone responded to that chorale of his. There was jubilation. The bishop was there, dancing, with his hands up over his head.

GK: It's not a chorale, Mr. Fellows. It's a jingle. Call it by its right name.

FN: Whatever. We loved it.

GK: Please. Spare me the details.

FN: I'm sorry, Bob. Maybe you could try writing something for Memorial Day.

GK: I don't think so.

FN: Anyway, I feel bad about the money. Here-

GK: What? No, I don't want your money.

FN: It's just twenty bucks.

GK: No, you shouldn't do that. Put that away.

FN: Please. Take it. I feel bad.

GK: No, I can't take that-

FN: Okay. How about ten dollars?

GK: Well, if you insist.

FN: Here.

GK: Okay. Thanks. You want a copy of the -

FN: No, you keep it. Well- see you around.

GK: Yeah. See you. (BRIDGE)

SS: So------? How'd it go, Bob? Can Pops and I come to Third Lutheran to hear your Lenten anthem? I just need to find something to wear. Maybe I'd better go down to the Mercantile and find something.

GK: It's not happening, Berneice.

SS: No?

GK: There's no appreciation for creativity in this town, Berneice. I don't know why I stay here. I should've gone to New York long ago.

SS: What happened?

GK: They offered me $400 for the anthem and I asked for $500 and complete creative control and they wouldn't budge and so---- to heck with em.

SS: Well, you always did stick to your principles, Bob.

GK: I try, Berneice. What else can a man do? Gain the whole world and lose his own soul? I don't think so.


TR (ANNC): The story of Bob, a young artist... was brought to you by Rainbow Motor Oil and the Rainbow Family of automotive products.(MUSIC UP AND OUT)