CT: Let's come in here with a word about Valentine's Day from P-O-E-M the Professional Organization of English Majors.
SS: Dating. It can be so miserable. You know in the first two minutes that he's not the one but you have to sit through the whole dinner. Arghhhh.
TR: (ELVIS) Hey there, Momma. How's it going? I hear the onion rings are really really good here and the vanilla malts. How do you like these aviator sunglasses? Cool, huh.
(ELECTRONIC WHOOSH)
FN: (NERD) Have you read the Lost In The Stars books by L. Everett Hasburgh? There are 37 books in the series and it's all about a race of people from a distant galaxy called Lexar who are able to switch heads with each other and it's a fantastic incredible story and I've done up my room as a Lexar dwelling and I play Lexar games by computer with people in Bangalore and Madagascar. I live with my parents....
(ELECTRONIC WHOOSH)
TR: I'm Tom. Good to meet you. I've prepared a resume to save you time, it's all on this discette ---- I'm 43, vice-president for membership at the Church of the Future, here's a list of my networks ---- have you heard of the Church of the Future?
SS: You're the ones who attach wires to your heads to adjust your brain waves?
TR: Well, it's a lot more than that.
(ELECTRONIC WHOOSH)
DR: Hey you look like someone who appreciates venison sausage? Do you? I brought a couple pounds of it. It's smoked, it keeps for months, years----
(ELECTRONIC WHOOSH)
CT: Hi.
SS: Hi.
CT: This isn't going to work out, is it.
SS: Probably not.
CT: If you want to leave right now, go ahead --- I'll understand.
SS: Same for you. If you want to bail, it's okay.
CT: I don't think I'm destined to ever find anybody.
SS: I feel that same way about myself.
CT: Oh, you'll find someone. It just won't be me.
SS: How can you say that?
CT: I was watching you from across the room.
SS: I thought you were late-----
CT: I was watching you. And writing about you.
Today will always be the day I saw you,
Your mind in straightened beauty dressed,
And suddenly an old vision became new
And then I, by dim doubts was hard pressed.
I must not keep you. I would only be
A thorny burden on your immaculate soul.
You could never find green love with me.
Alas no, my heart is a black hole.
Farewell, alas, my love----
SS: Wait. Don't go. I love your self-mortification. It tells me that you---- You must be. Are you an --
CT: English major? Yes. And you --
SS: Yes.
TR: If you don't have time to look all over for love, then simply head for the English Department. Hopeless love, our specialty. A message from POEM, the Professional Organization of English Majors.