GK: Can a woman over forty still retain her youthful freshness and beauty? Join us now for THE LARSONS.....brought to you by Merciful Outcomes....the name to trust when you're looking for a hair conditioner.

SS: (CALLING) Ted, I'm just going to go ahead and put this in the fridge till they get here (SFX OPEN FRIDGE)

FN: (TINY VOICED) Hello. What are you looking for?

SS: What are you doing in my refrigerator?

FN: I'm here to help you, Thunder Buns.

SS: What????

FN: You made a resolution to give up dessert, lady. What are you doing with your hand on the gelato?

SS: I was moving it to the side so I can get out the frozen corn.

FN: Frozen corn with butter sauce.

SS: So?

FN: Look at the side of the container. Calories. Check it out.

SS: This is my refrigerator---- what are you doing?

FN: Put down the gelato!!! (SFX KNOCKS IT AWAY)

SS: Please.

FN: Get some hummus. There's celery and radishes in the crisper.

SS: Please. I'm desperate.

FN: Radishes are good for your urinary tract.

SS: I haven't had cookie dough gelato for weeks.

FN: You don't need it.

SS: See what I have in my hand?

FN: A mixer.

SS: You get out of my way or I plug this in and puree you. You midget.

FN: You wouldn't dare.

SS: Don't push me.

FN: Close the door.

SS: I'm not going to close the door.

FN: You don't want anything in here.

SS: I do too.

FN: Remember the cheese you ate this morning?

SS: What about it?

FN: You told your husband it tasted funny?

SS: Yeah? So?

FN: Sort of bitter. Acrid. Disgusting.

SS: What are you saying?

FN: I put something on it.

SS: You put what on it----- no---- You didn't.

FN: I did.

SS: How could you do that?

FN: I've been in here for days. What am I supposed to do?

Besides it was for your own good.

SS: And the cookie dough?

FN: Same thing.

SS: Oh my gosh. -

FN: Beat it, saddle bags. Go for a jog or something. (SFX CLOSE DOOR)

SS: Ted??? Ted???

TR: Yeah.

SS: There's somebody in our refrigerator.

TR: Who?

SS: A tiny man with an elf's cap.

TR: Let me see. (DOOR OPEN) There's nobody in here.

SS: Check the freezer. (DOOR OPEN)

TR: Not in here. (CLOSE DOORS)

SS: Are you sure?

TR: Nobody in there, babes.

SS: There was a moment ago.

TR: Okay.

SS: You believe me, don't you? Don't you? (THEME)

GK: THE LARSONS.....was brought to you by Merciful Outcomes....the name to trust when you're looking for a hair conditioner.