(SOAP THEME)
GK: Can a woman over forty still retain her youthful freshness and beauty? Join us now for THE LARSONS.....brought to you by Merciful Outcomes....the name to trust when you're looking for a hair conditioner.
SS: (CALLING) Ted, I'm just going to go ahead and put this in the fridge till they get here (SFX OPEN FRIDGE)
FN: (TINY VOICED) Hello. What are you looking for?
SS: What are you doing in my refrigerator?
FN: I'm here to help you, Thunder Buns.
SS: What????
FN: You made a resolution to give up dessert, lady. What are you doing with your hand on the gelato?
SS: I was moving it to the side so I can get out the frozen corn.
FN: Frozen corn with butter sauce.
SS: So?
FN: Look at the side of the container. Calories. Check it out.
SS: This is my refrigerator---- what are you doing?
FN: Put down the gelato!!! (SFX KNOCKS IT AWAY)
SS: Please.
FN: Get some hummus. There's celery and radishes in the crisper.
SS: Please. I'm desperate.
FN: Radishes are good for your urinary tract.
SS: I haven't had cookie dough gelato for weeks.
FN: You don't need it.
SS: See what I have in my hand?
FN: A mixer.
SS: You get out of my way or I plug this in and puree you. You midget.
FN: You wouldn't dare.
SS: Don't push me.
FN: Close the door.
SS: I'm not going to close the door.
FN: You don't want anything in here.
SS: I do too.
FN: Remember the cheese you ate this morning?
SS: What about it?
FN: You told your husband it tasted funny?
SS: Yeah? So?
FN: Sort of bitter. Acrid. Disgusting.
SS: What are you saying?
FN: I put something on it.
SS: You put what on it----- no---- You didn't.
FN: I did.
SS: How could you do that?
FN: I've been in here for days. What am I supposed to do?
Besides it was for your own good.
SS: And the cookie dough?
FN: Same thing.
SS: Oh my gosh. -
FN: Beat it, saddle bags. Go for a jog or something. (SFX CLOSE DOOR)
SS: Ted??? Ted???
TR: Yeah.
SS: There's somebody in our refrigerator.
TR: Who?
SS: A tiny man with an elf's cap.
TR: Let me see. (DOOR OPEN) There's nobody in here.
SS: Check the freezer. (DOOR OPEN)
TR: Not in here. (CLOSE DOORS)
SS: Are you sure?
TR: Nobody in there, babes.
SS: There was a moment ago.
TR: Okay.
SS: You believe me, don't you? Don't you? (THEME)
GK: THE LARSONS.....was brought to you by Merciful Outcomes....the name to trust when you're looking for a hair conditioner.