GK: .....if you're flying to Minnesota for the holidays, save money by coming on Lutheran Air, where flying is an uplifting experience. First Class is a little different on Lutheran Air because the idea of buying a First Class seat is what got Martin Luther roused up to start the Reformation. On Lutheran Air, First Class goes to janitors and cleaning ladies and people who work with small children, those who have been of service. Rich people go to the rear.

Meals on Lutheran Air are leftovers and they're perfectly good so don't complain.

SS: Sir?

TR: Yes?

SS: You haven't finished your lunch, sir.

TR: I'm sorry. I'm not that hungry.

SS: Then you should've asked me for half a sandwich. And what's wrong with grapes? Those are perfectly good grapes.

TR: I don't like grapes.

SS: (MIMIC) "I don't like grapes." Well, aren't you special. "I don't like grapes." Well, guess what. When we land in Minneapolis, you are going to stay in your seat until everyone else has gotten off.

TR: Please----- I have a connecting flight. To Paris.

SS: Oh my. Going to Paris, are we. La di da. Well, I am going to send word on ahead for those flight attendants to serve you snails on that flight, mister.

TR: Please, don't. Please.

SS: Then eat those grapes. Come on. Choke em down. (SHE FORCE FEEDS HIM, GAGGING, PROTESTING)

GK: At Lutheran Air, the high and mighty are brought low, the lowly are raised up, just like in Scripture.

SS: Okay----prayer time---- follow along on the prayer card in your seat pocket----

God is good and God is great,

And we pray we won't be late.

Lord, the author of salvation,

Guide us toward our destination.

Guard us against all that's frightening

And please don't strike us with your lightning. Amen.

GK: Lutheran Air......it's the faith-based airline. Look for the planes with t