RADIO
(COWS)
GK: I grew up in a sod hut out on the prairie where we lived
because Mother had a peanut allergy and couldn't ever go to
town. (FN MOM: Don't you kids be bringing candy bars
home!). Also because Dad was from Goteborg (TR SWEDISH)
and he was a recluse because nobody around there understood
Swedish so he cared for his pigs (SFX) and the chickens (SFX)
and the goats (SFX) and life was rather lonely out there except
at night when we turned on the Philco radio receiver on the
kitchen table and listened to the shows that came to us from our
nation's capital, Washington D.C. -----
(NIGHTHAWKS BEAUTIFUL LOVE)
TR: Once again it's time for .....FOREIGN AFFAIRS.
FN: (LADY): Andre.....Andre, mon amour.
TR: (AMOROUS FRENCH)
FN: (LADY): Yes. O yes. Yes yes yes.
TR: (AMOROUS GERMAN)
FN: (LADY): Yes again. O yes.
TR: (AMOROUS ITALIAN)
FN: (LADY): You're so multilingual.
TR: (AMOROUS RUSSIAN)
FN: (LADY): You Europeans are so complicated.
GK: It was a vision of a life we could only imagine. The life of
Washington D.C., home of Congress and our president.
TR: (FDR): All we have to fear is fear itself. And also spiders
and deer ticks. Hairy-legged spiders and extremely small ticks
that cause Lyme disease. And of course fear itself.
GK: We learned so much about government just from those
radio shows.
(NIGHTHAWKS TOY TRUMPET)
TR: (ANNC): And now another exciting adventure from the
Bureau of ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, FIREARMS, AND
EXPLOSIVES! (w FN ECHO)....
(CLINK OF GLASSWARE)
DR: What kinda hooch is that?
FN: Good hooch. (POURING)
DR: Care for a smoke?
FN: Sure. (LIGHT UP, EXHALE)
DR: Bad for a guy's health, working undercover for ATF.
FN: A.T.F.E. now that they added explosives. That gun ain't
loaded is it?
DR: What gun you talking about? This gun? (GUNSHOT)
Darn. Did I just shoot you?
FN: Shot me in the ear, ya stupid ninny. Shot my earlobe right
off.
DR: Better have some more whiskey. Here. I'll light a smoke.
(STRIKE MATCH)
FN: Watch out where you toss that match. Hey----
DR: What's wrong? (EXPLOSION)
GK: Washington was so far away, so mysterious, but we learned
more about it on the radio. There were shows about G-men, of
course, the FBI and the U.S. Marines, the Army, the Navy, the
Air Force, but also action shows about lesser known
organizations.....
(NIGHTHAWKS MARCH)
TR: The U.S. ARMY CORPS OF ENGINEERS is ON THE
WAY! (MARCHING FEET) Building dams and bridges,
turning rivers into canals. The Corps of Engineers puts
rationalism to work.
MANLY CHORUS (CHANTING):
Initiate, evaluate, identify, plan.
Estimate, motivate, initiate, execute.
Determine, define, strategize, design.
Modify, implement, compare, assess, submit
Formulate, allocate, conceptualize, prioritize.
Authorize, roll it out, monitor, discuss.
(BUZZ OF MEETING)
Revise, revamp. Change of management.
(MAN CRY, FALLING, SPLASH. FURY OF SHARKS.)
Initiate, evaluate, identify, plan.
Estimate, motivate, initiate, execute.
Determine, define, strategize, design. (FADES UNDER)
GK: So many shows came from Washington and you learned
about the important work of government ---- agencies like the
Farm Credit Administration.....(TR: First of all, I want to thank
the cows for their hard work. (SFX) I also think that you pigs
have done a terrific job. (SFX) And egg production is way up ---
- you chickens deserve a lot of credit. (SFX)) ----and the Fish &
Wildlife Service---- (FN: We're serving a very nice halibut
tonight, lightly breaded, in an avocado emulsion....and our
wildlife special is the caribou filet, medium rare, served on
basmati rice and a potpourri of root vegetables) and the U.S.
Mint (SS: MOUTH FULL: I like it. It's very fresh, very minty.)
GK: Back then we weren't as suspicious of Washington as
people are now because we heard so much about government on
the radio in shows like....
(NIGHTHAWKS EERIE METROPOLIS)
TR: DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR.
DR: ECHO: Hello??? Who's in there? (FOOTSTEPS. DOOR
OPEN.) DR: Hello? Anyone in here?
FN: Don't come in here.
DR: I'm coming in.
FN: Leave me alone.
DR: I'm coming in. (FOOTSTEPS, STEEL DOOR CREAKS
OPEN) Where are you?
FN: Don't come any further.
(FOOTSTEPS. DOOR OPEN.)
DR: (ECHO): Hello?
(FOOTSTEPS. DOOR OPEN.) You in here?
GK: Government was part of our everyday life back then,
thanks to shows like
TR: (ANNC): The Tennessee Valley Authority....is on the
air....with Vince Giordano and His Nighthawks.
(NIGHTHAWKS MANHATTAN SERENADE)
TR: Is it all right to wear an aquamarine shirt and lemon slacks
with sandals and white socks?
FN: No.
TR: My wife thinks it looks nice.
FN: You'd look ridiculous.
TR: Who says?
FN: Me. I'm the Tennessee Valley Authority.
GK: Vince Giordano was the big bandleader in our nation's
capitol. We loved his music. Even my Dad did. (TR SWEDISH
INCLU "VINCE GIORDANO")
GK: I was thrilled the first time I went to Washington, with my
high-school group, came on a long bus trip, and walked down
the Mall (TRAFFIC, PASSERSBY) and walked up to the
Capitol and there was a black limo parked at the curb, and who
should I see but Vince Giordano himself, the famous
bandleader, who I recognized immediately from his Tuba
Instruction Book which I had sent away for years before. Mr.
Giordano---- Mr. Giordano----
VG: What is it, kid? I'm in a hurry. They're taking a vote in
there.
GK: I'm your biggest fan, Mr. Giordano. I live in a sod hut, a
house made of dirt, and your music has brought real elegance,
howbeit temporary, into some very challenging living
conditions.
VG: Aw, my music is a thing of the past, kid. Now I'm a
Member of Congress, I don't have any time for it.
GK: You're a Congressman???? Why???
VG: Good question. It's lousy work but somebody has to do it,
kid. Besides, the music is out of date. Kids nowadays just want
to hear electric guitars.
GK: Not me, sir. I love your music.
VG: Yeah, well ----- then go down the street to the Smithsonian.
You can hear hours of it down there.
GK: And that's what I did. You go to the Smithsonian, ask for a
listening booth, go in and crank the Victrola (SFX) and put the
78 on and set the needle down (STATIC. BAND PIECE.....)