GK: Tomorrow is Mother's Day, and probably you forgot all about it and you planned to get on a plane and fly to Paris (AIYIYIYI!!!! MOM!!!!) and leave your poor mother to sit all alone in the rest home (FN LADY: That's all right. You go have a good time. Don't worry about me. I've got my jigsaw puzzles.) so you cancel the non-refundable tickets to Paris (AIYIYIYI) and now what to do----- you can't take her to some big expensive place like Il Convivio (TR ITALIAN), or the House of Sushi (TR JAPANESE), or the Royal Cossack (TR RUSSIAN), the Royal Stockholm (TR SWEDISH), the Taj Mahal (TR INDIAN) or the Cafe Boeuf (TR FRENCH), because it'll just make Mom uncomfortable (FN LADY: You kids can't afford all this ---- I'll just have a bowl of soup. It's okay.) This is Mom's Day, it's not your day. (SS ELDERLY: You don't happen to have meat loaf, do ya? TR JAPANESE. SS: You know, the ground beef with the bread crumbs and the Lipton Onion Soup mix? TR JAPANESE)

Forget about cuisine and take Mom out to Mel's Big Boy Buffet where you put your plate on a tray and (SS OLD: Boy, that's good lookin turkey, ain't it. SQUISH. SS OLD: And mashed potatoes. SQUISH.

SS OLD: Looks like real gravy, don't it. SLOP.

SS OLD: I love squash. SQUISH.

SS OLD: And bread pudding. SQUORT

GK: A whole meal for under five dollars.

SS OLD: Boy, ya can't beat that, can ya.

FN (LOW): How ya doin, Betty? Ya look good.

SS OLD: Doin okay, Mel.

GK: Mother's Day means Mel's Big Boy Buffet at the Mall. (FN LOW: Hi, this is Mel. If you're going to use your senior coupons, make sure you have em out and ready as you come up to the cashier so you don't hold up the line. Okay? People stand there fishing around in their purse for the senior coupons and meanwhile people are waiting and getting cranky cause their ham's getting cold, so let's have a little consideration. Thanks.) Tomorrow's special: (FN LOW: Turkey.) Thanks, Mel. (FN LOW: No problem.) MUSIC OUT