GK: . . . after a word from the Ketchup Advisory Board.

TR: These are the good years for Barb and me. New Year's Day, I said I'd give up my Captain and Tennille record collection if she gave up scrapbooking. It was a win-win. Each of us got rid of hobbies we hated. I was collecting them as an investment and Barb was scrapbooking because she'd spent so much money on it already, she was in scrapbook prison. Anyway, we're over it----- (HE SINGS) Just stop, 'cause I really love you

Stop, I'll be thinking of you

Look in my heart

And let love keep us together.

(SS WEEPING) Barb, what's wrong?

SS (WEEPY): Oh Jim, I'm trying to make burritos for lunch and I just looked it up and found out that "burrito" means "little donkey" in Spanish, and I didn't know that. (WEEPS)

TR: Barb, what is the problem?

SS (WEEPY): I took Spanish for seven years in school and tried to read People en Espanol every week and after all that time and all those irregular conjugations I never knew what "burrito" meant --- I'm never going to be able to speak Spanish -

TR: You make beautiful burritos, Barb.

SS: I'm living in a bubble. There's a whole Latino culture around ---- there is Spanish Daytime TV ---- I walk down the street, I hear Spanish and I am never going to understand it. We live a beige life, Jim. There's nothing picante about it.

TR: Barb, we still have English. A darn good language, if you ask me.

SS: I just wonder if we shouldn't move to Mexico, Jim.

TR: But we don't know anybody.

SS: If we learned Spanish we could meet some wonderful people.

TR: And what if our kids should marry native Spanish speakers?

SS: Jim, our children don't speak to us now, why would that change?

TR: But what if our grandchildren's first language is Spanish?

SS: We'll speak to them in the language of grandparents ---- the language of very expensive presents.

TR: Barb, I wonder if you're getting enough ketchup.

SS: Ketchup? I'm talking about salsa.

TR: Salsa is fine in its place. But ketchup contains natural mellowing agents that make you feel all right about being unilingual and experiencing the fiesta "a su casa." Even though you don't know what it means.

SS: Oh, Jaime. Viva la Ketchup.


These are the good times, they're boffo and they're socko

Say hello to Gino, to Rico and to Rocco

Life is flowing like Ketchup on your taco.

GK: Ketchup, for the good times.

RD: Ketchup, ketchup, ketchup...