(MUSIC)
GK: As we approach Christmas, we should remind
ourselves that when our ancestors came to the New World,
they came for a reason... (SAILS, WIND, BOAT
RIGGING)
TR: (SWEDISH)
GK: In the Old Country, Christmas was very traditional and
everyone was expected to do the same things at the same
times ---- go to church (MARCHING FEET), kneel in
prayer (MASS THUMP AND CROWD PRAYERFUL
MURMURS), sing the same hymn every year (RD
ORGAN: DET KIMER NU, BIG INTRO), march to the
Royal Palace (MARCHING FEET, STOP, MASS CHEER:
FN: Hip hip ALL: HOORAY, FN: Hip hip ALL:
HOORAY), and go home and eat greasy goose (SFX) and
mushy rutabagas (SFX), and boiled potatoes (SFX), rice
pudding (SFX), and drink a gallon of beer (TR BELCH).
They came to America to be free of that. (TR WOMAN:
Free! FN WOMAN: Thank God. Freedom!) They came
with a dream of sitting down on Christmas, or before, or
after, at whatever time of day suited them, and eating a big
helping of General Tso's Seven Joys of Advent turkey
curry with eggplant and bean sprouts and also shrimp in
garlic sauce.
TR (SWEDISH): At last. No more lutefisk, Lena. Shrimp
in garlic sauce.
FN (WOMAN, BASQUE)
TR (SWEDISH): What you say, Lena?
FN (WOMAN BASQUE)
TR (SWEDISH): Ten years we're married and now I find
out you're not Swedish??
GK: But they were free. No dietary restrictions. And no
more "Little Drummer Boy" ---- in the Old Country,
soldiers forced people into the streets at exactly 6 p.m. to
sing it--- (MARCHING FEET, TR SHOUTS OF
COMMAND, THUMP OF RIFLES)
DIGIS (SING, LEADENLY):
This song is awfully dumb pa rum pump pum pum
Goes on ad nauseam pa rum pump pum pum
I'd like to kill the bum who plays the drum.
Let's break his thumbs.
GK: And now they were free to sing what they liked----
CD (SINGS, BIG):
Somewhere overindulgence --- all I want
Shrimp in garlic sauce in a restaurant.
GK: And later when the East Coast became too rigid and
stratified, people headed West. (HORSES, WAGON)
FN (GIRL): Why are we going to Minnesota, Pa?
TR: We're going to live out on the prairie, Laura, where we
can do whatever the heck we want because we'll be
faraway from our neighbors.
GK: Celebrating Christmas as you wish... it's the American
way...
FN (WOMAN): I thought I'd fix turkey lasagna but instead
of turkey I'll use scallops.
GK: And when the prairie got too settled, they went to
California where, on Christmas Day, you could play tennis
(SFX) and you could roast turkey on a grill (BURST OF
FLAME) and just go wild with the stuffing.
FN (WOMAN): Onions! Brown rice! Chestnuts! Hot
peppers! Salsa!
GK: Christmas. Loosen up a little. (BAND