Ten days before Christmas and you've just been fired from

Amalgamated Consolidated (FN: You're redundant, pal.

You're dead weight. A black hole. And nobody likes you.

You have one hour to clean out your desk. WHIP LASH)

and a man with a Rottweiler (SNARLS) takes you to your

little cubicle and (RUMMAGE JUNK) you put your stuff

into a garbage bag and then you see a certificate. And you

remember. Back when you were in college, a classmate

asked you what he should call the new company he was

starting up and you told him and he couldn't afford to pay

you so he gave you a few shares, He was going to call it

Digital Directory Terminal, DDT. You said, No, call it

Facebook. And by gosh he did. You take your boxful of

stuff and get on the bus (SFX, AIRBRAKES, ACCEL) to

head home and on your cellphone (BEEPS) you compute

what your share is worth and----- (TR: Gosh. Two hundred

million dollars.) And you think about donating all of it to a

good cause like the Clinton Foundation (TR CLINTON:

We'll use it to launch a new initiative against pestilence

and disease) but the next day a realtor is walking you

through a Park Avenue penthouse (FOOTSTEPS)

SS: There is the terrace with the heated lap pool and here is

the kitchen....(TR: Wow) with the cooking island, the

walk-in pantry, the French range (TR: Wow. The pantry is

bigger than my current apartment.) ....and here is the media

room with the movie screen (MOTOR).....(FOOTSTEPS


GK: And you feel shame (TR: What happened to my

ideals? My commitment to economic justice?)

SS: And here is the master bedroom (RK VIOLIN) which

comes with a strolling violinist.

TR: Wow.

GK: So you buy it and you hire an interior designer (TR

ITALIAN) who does a lot with gray slate and abstract

expressionist paintings and big jars with dried weeds in

them and you move in, you and your cat (MEOW), and you

give a housewarming party and invite your old pals who do

not bother to hide their resentment (FN, SS, TR BITTER

MURMURS) and envy, but what the hey, it's beautiful

(TR: I love it, the openness of it, the view from the 40th


though it also makes you nervous, being up so high (TR:

Long way down) and that first night you take a sleeping pill

your doctor prescribed (TR: Hmmm. Side effects may

include dementia, somnambulism, stroke, paralysis, sudden

death ---- oh, well, what the heck) and that night you sleep

a deep sleep (BREATHING) and you have a series of

horrific dreams, you're back in Minnesota in a blizzard

(SFX) and your car is stuck (TIRES SPINNING) and you

walk toward town and a demented rural person comes after

you (SFX) and he has a chainsaw (CHAINSAW) and you

run down the railroad tracks and he's chasing you


GK: ...and now you're on a trestle high over a fast river,

and you wake up and actually you're walking on a guy wire

(TRAFFIC FAR BELOW) and the strolling violinist is

right behind you (RK VIOLIN) and you're forty stories

above ground and halfway between your apartment and the

Chrysler Building and (CREAKING OF WIRE) the wire is

swaying slightly and you don't have your glasses on and

everything is rather blurry and wouldn't this be a good time

for a piece of rhubarb pie......


Rhubarb pie or Rhubarb wine

It does wonders for your mind.

Turns a sad sack into a poet,

The secret of the good life as we know it.