GK: Statistics show that for every person sitting at a piano and playing Chopin (CHOPIN ETUDE, RD) there are fifty thousand people playing video games (GUNFIRE. ARTILLERY. PLANE STRAFING, MACHINE GUNS, EXPLOSIONS) and some people see this as a decline of civilization, but Chopin himself lived through the Napoleonic Wars that continued through most of his short life (GUNFIRE, HORSES, CANNONS) so it wasn't as if he lived in a calm civilized time, and those wars involved real swords and people's heads getting cut off (THWOP, PLOP) and men running straight into cannon fire (RUNNING FEET, SHOUTS, BLAMMO) and not just little figures on a screen. So maybe civilization has advanced a little bit. But if you want to get an educational video game for your children, the Professional Organization of English Majors has a brand new one (TRUMPET FANFARE) ----- Richard the Third.

Richard, the younger brother of the King, bitter about his hunchback deformity goes on a killing spree---- has his brother Clarence executed (THWOP, PLOP) which leads to the King's death (GROAN, DEATH) and becomes Lord Protector until the King's son grows up (BOY: Uncle Richard!) and kills Lord Hastings (THWOP, GROAN) and the Queen's relatives (THWOP, THWOP, THWOP, BODIES DROP) and locks the princes in the Tower of London (BOYS: Oh no, help. Please. Not us.) and hires killers to go and do them in. (EVIL LAUGHTER)

GK: And Richard becomes King (TRUMPET FANFARE) whereupon he murders his wife the Queen (QUEEN: Oh dear. THWOP, PLOP) so he can marry his niece (YOUNG WOMAN: Oh wow. Uncle Dick) but his enemies invade England (GUNFIRE, HORSES, CANNONS) and kill Richard (THWOP, PLOP) and the niece marries the new king instead. Educational video, from the Professional Organization of English Majors. Buy Richard III and get MacBeth for half off. (SS: Out, out, damned spot. DOG BARK)


English, it's tres chic.

the language everyone wants to speak.

Non parla inglese?

You gotta be crazy.