GK: So it's spring, and time to head north to open up the family cabin. So you drive north (SFX), the last stretch of dirt road (SFX), moose are walking past (SFX), and a couple of bears (SFX)-and you get to your cabin and you open it up (UNLOCKING, OPENINIG JAMMED DOOR), and an owl comes right at your face (SFX) and the place smells of skunk (REVULSION). You open up all the windows (SFX), and you open the fireplace flue (SFX), and you poke a broom up there to get the bats out (SFX), and then you light a fire to get the dampness off of everything (SFX)-

Now you pump some water (PUMPING HAND PUMP) and some greenish gunk (SPURTING SPLORTS) comes out of the pipes (SFX)-And now you check the mousetraps---- caught a big one there (FN WINCING)---- it's a guy's job to dispose of dead animals, so you do (FN SHUDDERS, THROWS BODY OUT), and you wash the windows, (SFX), and look under the bed, and (FN YECHHH)-there it is. A dead possum. That's where the smell was coming from. (GAG) So you go out to the shed and you get a shovel and you scrape the carcass off the floor (SFX, FLIES), and you put it in a plastic bag (SFX), and you spray some Lysol (SFX) and you go out to sweep the deck (SFX), and your foot goes right through the wood (SFX). It's all rotted. You'll have to build a new one. So you pull out all that old deck wood (SFX), plank by plank, and you cut some new decking (SAW)...

<p.GK: ...and you hammer that down, and the snakes don't like that (SFX), or the bees (SFX), but you pile up all the dead wood in the campfire ring (SFX). And at the end of the day, after the work is done, ( MOSQUITOS) you have a little bonfire. You build the fire (SFX), and you turn around to get the marshmallows and the graham crackers, and that's just when the wind picks up (SFX) and blows the bonfire towards the back porch of the cabin (SFX), where it catches fire (SFX, FN PANIC), and pretty soon the whole thing is ablaze (SFX), and now here comes the local fire department (SFX), full of volunteers who were at the Legion Club (SFX) and they're doing what they can (SFX) but it's not looking good, and that's when your cell phone rings. (SFX, PICKUP) Hello?

FN, LADY (ON PHONE): Hey honey. How's it's going up there. Everything good? Guess what. I'm about a mile away. Surprise!

GK: Wouldn't this be a good time for a piece of Rhubarb pie? Yes, nothing gets the taste of shame and humiliation out of your mouth like Beboparebop Rhubarb Pie and rhubarb pie filling.


But one little thing can revive a guy,

And that is homemade rhubarb pie.

Serve it up, nice and hot.

Maybe things aren't as bad as you thought.


Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,

Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.

Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,

Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.