GK: The Statue of Liberty is still closed after suffering damage from Hurricane Sandy and we're going to talk to her now. How are you doing, Madame?
SS (FRENCH): "Madame" ----- if only ----- What did you say?
GK: Just said hello.
SS (FRENCH): Ahhhh! Bonjour tout le monde. Je suis le Statue of Liberty! ----
GK: Right. So how are you? Got hit by the hurricane, huh?
SS (FRENCH): Ehhhh. My shoulder hurts. But I'm 126 years old. So------ . I'll tell you the truth, though: I would kill for a cigarette. A great big cigarette. I used to smoke out in the harbor, late at night, when no one was looking, and now ----- they pass this silly law.
GK: I didn't know you smoked.
SS (FRENCH): I'm French. What can I say? We like to take chances.
GK: So what is it like to stand in one place, in one position, for 126 years?
SS (FRENCH): Oh, I've been around. I get down off this pedestal now and then, go over to Jersey, go to a casino. I went to Washington once.
GK: Really. What did you think?
SS (FRENCH): That Abraham Lincoln statue is very handsome.
GK: The Lincoln.
SS (FRENCH): A tall man in a chair, and I sang to him and tried to get him to smile and he would not. So---- ech. Never mind.
GK: So you wish you had a friend?
SS (FRENCH): It is so hard to meet someone when you are 150 feet tall. You put an ad in the personals, "Very tall woman hopes to meet open-minded gentleman willing to relocate to a small island," and he comes out on the boat and takes one look and it scares him to death. And when they find out I smoke----- ha.
GK: Yeah, but you're the most famous statue in America.
SS (FRENCH): I think about going to visit Mount Rushmore. Three big handsome men. But no bodies, just heads. So what can I do?
GK: I never thought you were lonely.
SS (FRENCH): What do you think I am carrying the torch for? For the fun of it? Non. For a man. Somebody. I'm in New York, I should have dates every night. You know how many times I've been to Manhattan? Once. Once!
GK: (CLUCKS) When did you go into Manhattan?
SS (FRENCH): A year ago. Midnight. I waded in to shore and walked very very carefully up Broadway to Times Square and it was beautiful. All lit up.
GK: Did anyone see you?
SS (FRENCH): A few people did and they never drank alcohol again. But I went back to my island and here I am. Alone. It is the human condition. Le conditione humaine. I wish they would bring a big man statue to keep me company but probably not.
GK: Well just hang in there, Madame Liberty.
SS (FRENCH): Non non. Forget it. It is too late now. I just want a cigarette. (DEEP SIGH) Sometimes I am struck by lightning and that is exciting but I am simply alone. They ought to write a song about me......
CHRISTINE D (SINGS):
Hey Manhattan
I'm looking at you
This great big statue
In your harbor
With the Staten Island Ferry
Off to starboard.
DIGIS:
I wish I were there
In Times Square
I wish, I hope
It could come true
I'd trade my pointed crown
I would disrobe
For a night on the town
With you.
GK: Good to talk to you. Good luck out there. The Statue of Liberty. (BAND PLAYOFF)