....after a message from the Gift Registry.

TR: My girlfriend knitted me a wool scarf. Green. I hate scarves. And I haven't worn anything green in my life. She kept saying, "Do you like it?" Is it okay?" The scarf is about 16 inches long. More like a placemat. It was the first thing she ever knitted and it took her months. She gave it to me like it was the Shroud of Turin and I ought to fall down in awestruck wonder. So I bought her a gun. And she was like, what is this? And I was like, it's a gun, why? And she was like what's with that? And I was like what's with the scarf? So we split up and I got a new girlfriend. She's sexier and smarter and she's got no interest in knitting. And she loves the gun.

GK: Not everyone appreciates the fiber arts. At the Gift Registry, we keep a record of the things your friends and loved ones hope nobody will ever give them. Check with us before the holidays.