GK: (TYPING) You sit in your cubicle working on the O'Connell account, writing copy about their fall fashion line (SS: Practical but elegant, this denim wraparound skirt will be a staple in your fall wardrobe) but it's hard to keep plugging away writing this boring boring stuff you've done for twenty years when the Internet is right there. And the temptation of YouTube ---- with two keystrokes you can be there with unlimited entertainment at your fingertips, you can watch a video of a dog who recites poetry (FN DOG: Whose woods these are I think I know, his house is in the village though, he will not see me stopping here.... ), you can see the demolition of a 12-story building (SFX), you can watch the collision of two monster trucks at high speed (SFX), everything is on YouTube ----- you can see Frank Sinatra performing with Pete Seeger (FN BANJO, TR SINATRA SINGS: ------FOR EVERYTHING, TURN TURN TURN, THERE IS A SEASON, TURN TURN TURN, AND A TIME FOR EVERY PURPOSE UNDER HEAVEN) and compared to the pleasures of YouTube, your job is boring, boring, boring..... (TYPING) SS READING: The new look for fall is corduroy ---- combining the traditional with exciting new colors such as ecru, puce, sea moss.......) ------ here you are describing clothes you have no interest in and meanwhile, if you just click here and click there ---- you can see the video of Marilyn Monroe singing sea chanteys (SS BREATHY: Way haul away, we'll haul away together, way haul away, we'll haul away Joe),
GK: ....you can see a dolphin recite the Pledge of Allegiance (FN DOLPHIN), ----- you can watch a video of Marcel Proust singing "Home On The Range" (TR THIN FRENCH QUAVERY "HOME ON RANGE")) you can see a man juggle a cat, a maraca, a parakeet, and a jelly doughnut (SFX) you can listen to Franklin D. Roosevelt (TR: All we have to fear is fear itself.) and before you know it, the sun's gone down and all day you've only written that one sentence about the new look for fall ----- some people go off to the woods to work and get away from WiFi but it's a lot easier simply to take your computer in to a licensed deprogrammer who can perform a simply YouTubectomy ----- (THWOOP). It's easy, it's painless, and the hole is easily filled up with YouTubeGlue (SQUORT). Want to see what this operation looks like? It's on Youtube (THWOOP, SQUORT). A message from your local licensed deprogrammer