GK: Here's a message for you old-timers ----- it's embarrassing to go around and not be able to put a name to a face. And it happens a lot.
SS: Kevin?
FN: Patrick.
SS: Oh. Right. Sorry.
FN: That's okay, Jennifer.
SS: Maia.
FN: Oh right. Of course.
GK: So you try to pretend you know people's names.
FN: Oh. Hi.
SS: Hey. Great to see you.
FN: How you been?
SS: Great. And you?
FN: Fine.
GK: But they know you don't remember them.
SS: My name is Marsha, by the way.
FN: I know you! What? You think I didn't know you?
SS: It's okay. It doesn't matter.
GK: But it does matter. And you can solve the problem with a face-recognition chip from Fritz Electronics. Simply clip the chip to your shirt pocket and snake the wire up to your ear. It looks like a hearing aid but it's a database holding up to 10,000 photo images of everyone in your yearbook, Facebook friends, family, everyone you ever knew , so when you go to the class reunion-----
TR: Hi! Remember me?
SS (ROBOT): Barry Halper.
FN: Barry Halper!
TR: That's incredible. You remember me?
FN: You haven't changed a bit.
TR: Wow. Who are you?
FN: Me? Who am I?
TR: Who are you?
FN: Well----- um-------- you mean me------
GK: And you can't come up with your own name. Premature dementia. No problem with the face-recognition chip. Just aim it at yourself.
SS (ROBOT): Fred Newman.
FN: I'm Fred Newman.
TR: Hey!!! Great.
GK: The face scanner, from Fritz Electronics. Just 49.99, available in stores only, not online.