TR: These are the good years for Barb and me. The new senior citizen center got finished across the street and every day a few pitiful elderly persons come an knock on our door with their little trembly hands and their Grateful Dead T-shirts and they say, Dude, where is the senior center? And I say, "It's that big ugly building" and they tip me a dollar and five minutes later they come back and they say, "Dude, which one?" and I say, "Right over there" and they tip me another dollar, or sometimes a twenty, you never know. Fifty-seven bucks just today. It sure beats working. I'm thinking I may start selling brownies made with Metamucil. I came in the kitchen to talk to Barb about it and found her all hot and bothered. What's wrong?
SS: Oh, Jim. Look. I just went on Facebook and I saw your ex-girlfriend Pam's page and ----- listen----- "Jack and I are in a mountain village in Peru where we've joined an insurgency group fighting for human rights and we've both learned to use automatic rifles. We feel so alive, so needed."
TR: So? What's the problem?
SS: You could've married somebody exciting. Instead of me.
TR: Ehhh. She always was dramatic, Barb. That's why we broke up.
SS: Well, look at this. It's Kevin.
TR: Who's he?
SS: You know. Kevin.
TR: The one who begged you to marry him? The one who got down on one knee in a food court?
SS: Anyway, he says, "I'm moving to Hawaii, and I'm selling my Facebook stock for sixty-seven m--" Well, isn't that something. ------Huh........Well, it doesn't matter.
TR: Let me see.
SS: No, it doesn't matter. I had no idea he owned stock in Facebook ----- well, never mind--.
TR: I hope you're not posting anything for us. Are you?
SS: I said that we're on a high-catchup diet and that we're intensely in love.
TR: We are? I didn't know that.
SS: Well, I guess we better stay on Facebook then. So you can find out these things. Here, "like" my status update.
TR: Barb. That's tacky.
SS: Like it, Jim. Here's the laptop. And then I'm sharing to their walls. Pam and Kevin. Like it Jim. Come on. Do it.
RD (SINGS):
These are the good times.
The economy is steady.
Days are getting longer,
Spring is ripe and ready.
Life is flowing
Like ketchup on spaghetti.
GK: Ketchup, for the good times.
RD: Ketchup, ketchup.