GK: .....brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board.

SS: These are the good years for Jim and me. The Ron Paul for President campaign is flying people in to Iowa to stand at his rallies and wave signs and scream and we found a motel with an indoor pool in Mason City so it looked like a good New Year's Eve for us and we both felt pretty good about taking part in the democratic process.

TR: Ron Paul is a guy who says what he thinks, Barb, even if it means standing way out on the fringe of American politics. I like that in a man. He doesn't take a poll to find out what he thinks. He wants to abolish the Federal Reserve and go back to a system of gold coins and bartering. I like that.

SS: I'm sort of leaning toward Newt Gingrich, Jim. The way other candidates are sticking it to him ---- I feel like it's my duty to stand up for him. So what if he is a lobbyist? The man's got a right to earn a living.

TR: A lot of people are supporting Mitt Romney because he's more electable but politics isn't just about winning, Barb. It's about principles.

SS: I couldn't agree more. I mean, accepting the lesser of two evils ---- I already did that when I married you.

TR: You did?

SS: I was at the homecoming dance and there was Howard Dibble pleading with me to dance with him and I looked at his plastic pocket protector and six ballpoint pens in it and then I turned and there you were. You had a clean shirt on and you used a deodorant and you didn't read Ayn Rand and talk about the threat of communism. And on the strength of that, I went over and flirted with you.

TR: I thought it was the way I kissed.

SS: Over the years, your kissing has gradually improved, Jim, but at the beginning it was a choice. You or Howard.

TR: So you're for Newt Gingrich because he's your ideal?

SS: I love when he gets huffy and red in the face. Nobody can get huffy like Newt. And I love how he comes out with those long sentences that just go on and on and he starts out talking about ethanol subsidies and then he's on Aaron Burr and the Battle of Chancellorsville and suddenly he comes out in favor of teaching boys to shine shoes.

TR: You think he'd made a good President?

SS: I really do. And I think being President would bring out the whole warm human side of Newt. I can just see him with a huge grin on his face on Election Night and his little hands waving in the air. He'd be so happy. If Ron Paul got elected, I think it would scare him to death. But Newt would be the happiest guy in the world.

TR: Barb, I think we both need a little more ketchup. Ketchup has natural mellowing agents that help a person recover from hallucinations and learn to enjoy a small heated swimming pool in a Holiday Inn in Mason City.

SS: You may be right, Jim.

RD (sings):
Happy happy new year, goodbye memories,
A new day is dawning on the ocean breeze
Fresh as ketchup on your cottage cheese,

GK: Ketchup....for the good times.