I got shoes, you got shoes
All God's children got shoes
And when we get to Heaven
Gonna put on our shoes
We gonna walk all over God's Heaven
Heaven, Heaven

Everybody talkin' bout Heaven
Ain't goin there
Heaven, Heaven
I'm gonna walk all over God's Heaven

GK: And your name is?

SS: Louise Biggers. B-i-g-g--e-r-s They misspelled it on my tombstone. Spelled it B-E-g-g-e-r-s. But I suppose it doesn't make a lot of difference.

GK: And you are in heaven now?

SS: That's what they tell me, yes. To me it looks a lot like Hawaii but they say it's heaven. Whatever.

GK: So what's it like?

SS: Heaven? It's okay. It takes some getting used to, I must say.

GK: How's that?

SS: Well, I come from a family where you said what you think. There's not a lot of that up here. A lot of meekness and purity of heart. And the praising ---- it never stops. You know what I mean?

GK: So you're not happy about that?

SS: Well, it beats the alternative. But I do wish there was SOME arguing. You know? I wish somebody would just get cranked up and yell once in awhile.

GK: Okay. Good talking with you.

I got a robe, you got a robe
All God's children got a robe
And when we get to Heaven
Gonna put on our robes
We're gonna shout all over God's Heaven

GK: Who are you, sir?

FN: Gerald Schueneman. Grand Rapids, Michigan. They cremated me. Boy, that's something I wouldn't care to go through again. Scattered my ashes in a river. Got no idea why.

GK: You're in heaven now?

FN: It would seem so, yes.

GK: And how is that?

FN: Well, I don't know if I should say this, but there are some fantastic women here, like Bathsheba and Joan of Arc and so forth, and I'd love to date some of them, but I'm Mormon and we believe that we'll be reunited with our wives in heaven. So it's not "TIL death do us part" ----- it's "Death does not part us" ----

GK: So you're married for all eternity.

FN: You got it. And if you ask me, fifty-two years was long enough. I'm ready to move on.

GK: Okay. Good luck with that.

I got socks, you got socks
All God's children got socks
And when we get to Heaven
Gonna put on our socks
We're gonna walk all over God's Heaven

GK: Hello? Hello?

TR: Hello.

GK: Who is this?

TR: The name is Keith. Tom Keith. Used to be on your show, remember? We worked together for 40 years. Short guy. Balding. Then you got rich and famous and I had to stand around doing loon calls and horses' hooves.

GK: And you're in heaven?

TR: I think so. Yes.

GK: No pain, no weeping, no sorrow......

TR: Right.

GK: And how do you like it so far?

TR: It's not bad.

GK: Not bad.

TR: It could be worse.

GK: I see. Is there much humor in heaven, Tom?

TR: No, but there wasn't on your show either, if you ask me.

GK: That's an odd thing to say.

TR: Well, I just can't believe I spent all those years doing sound effects. I was always planning to be a dancer. It just didn't happen. I don't know why.

GK: Well, I'm sorry you feel that way.

TR: Just so you know, I can look down and see what you're doing. Just so you know. I was watching you today. I saw what you did.

GK: Oh, get out of here.

TR: I am out of there.

GK: Okay. You take care. See you around.

TR: Not much chance of that, in your case.

GK: What do you mean by that?

TR: You figure it out.

GK: Thank you, the late Tom Keith.

Everybody talkin' bout Heaven
Ain't goin there
Heaven, Heaven
I'm gonna walk all over God's Heaven