GK: The problem with doing a show in New York City is that you have so much competition. You walk down the street and there are breakdancers (SFX), another block and a fire eater (SFX), right next to a street saxophonist (SFX). Walk down to Washington Square Park and there's a snake handler (SFX), a steel drummer (SFX), a woman doing bellydancing with little finger cymbals (SFX), and over here, some Peruvian panflute players (SFX) And a guy juggling swords (SFX) and here's a singer-songwriter in a flowing dress (FN WOMAN SINGS: MY LIFE IS A CRYSTAL TEARDROP AND I AM THE REFLECTION OF THE SUN) and next to her is a dog on a trampoline. (SFX) There's a lot of arts density here. And then you have big musicals too----
FN (SINGS, BIG):
Staten ISLAND. Where folks are SMILIN'.
Where life is rich beyond the Verrazano Bridge
And the ferry is very necessary to me.
No Brooklyn, no Bronx or Manhattan----
Give me Staten.
GK: And all the little clubs where tall women in black gowns slit up the side lean against pianos and sing ballads--
HM (SMOKILY):
April in New York
The smell of bus fumes in the air
Sitting in a sidewalk cafe
And sip your liqueur in
The smell of old urine
Coming up from the subway.
GK: What chance does a Midwestern radio show have, compared to serious drama in New York theaters.
ER: What's wrong, Kevin?
TR: What's wrong?
ER: Something's off between you and me.
TR: You don't know what it is?
ER: No, I don't.
TR: I'm completely asexual, Theresa. The sight of you, beautiful as you are, makes no impression on me compared to what I feel about opera.
ER: So that's why the iPod----
TR: Maria Callas. Indescribable. Life pales in comparison.
ER: Before you go, there's one thing I want you to know about me, Kevin.
TR: What's that, Theresa?
ER: My name's not Theresa. It's Thomas.
TR: Oh. Interesting. Well, I guess I never would've known that.
ER: Probably not.
TR: How come your voice is high? Like a girl's?
ER: I'm on helium.
TR: And that's why you're so graceful and light?
ER: I get on a scale and I weigh 37 pounds.
TR: You should wear heavier shoes.
ER: I don't want them. I want to fly. Over the treetops.
TR: Wait. Wait. She's singing (FRENCH) from (FRENCH TITLE)---- Oh my gosh. (SS TINY SOPRANO VOICE FROM EAR BUD) Every time I hear her voice I feel utterly transported. ---- Theresa? Where'd you go? Theresa? (BRIDGE)
GK: All this competition used to discourage us, until we discovered that in midtown Manhattan, late afternoon, a lot of people are looking for a place to sit down. And that's us. Our audience is all worn out from the sights and sounds of the city and now they get to take a load off and enjoy some peace and quiet.
(BIRDS. DISTANT DOG. HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGE APPROACHING. STOPS. FN: Hey, how's it going? (HORSE WHINNY)
GK: Not so bad. How's it with you?
FN: Could be worse. What you up to?
GK: Doing a show.
FN: Oh. How's that going?
GK: It's okay.
FN: Okay. Good talking to you. You take care.
GK: You too. Nice carriage.
FN: It's a surrey.
GK: Oh. Nice.
SURREY WITH THE FRINGE ON TOP