SS (ANNC): The Lives of the Cowboys.nBrought to you by Spanish Johnny Spandex Chaps, for cowboys who are still growing.nAnd now, The Lives of the Cowboys.n


TR:nGet your face out of that computer, Lefty.nGotta round up the cows.

GK: Evelyn's online, Dusty.nI see her little green dot. I'm just thinking about whether I oughta try to chat with her.n

TR: You better do it fast, before your battery runs out.

GK:nI donno. I don't want to bother her. (COWS) Maybe she's tired of me. Wouldn't blame her. Maybe she's talking to someone else. Don't want to make a fool of myself.

TR:nThen come rustle up the cows and let's eat some beans and hit the hay.

GK:nAmazing to think that she's right there. If I clicked on that green dot, we'd be talking.

TR:nLook, we didn't become cowboys to sit here staring at the computer.nWe did it to experience solitude.

GK:nI think I already knew about that.

TR:nYou only knew about loneliness.nSolitude is something else.nThat's where you start to like being alone. You enjoy your own company.


GK:nHer light just turned orange, and now it's green again.

TR:nPeople nowadays can't bear to be alone. Always obsessively looking for company, constant reassurance. Email, chat, social networks, talk talk talk.nUs cowboys are the last of the loners.nLeast I am. I am the last American alive who is not looking for validation.n

GK:nWonder who she's talking to.n


TR:nJust start up a video chat.nDon't sit and stare at the screen all day.

GK:nI can't.

TR: Here, I'll do it for you.

GK:nGet your hand away----

TR:nJust click the mouse---- (STRUGGLING) Right over her name.n(CLICK) Yvonne Beebalo Here we go.


GK: What did you do?

TR: Lefty has invited you to chat. Let's see if she picks up.

GK:nHow do I turn this off?n


SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nHello? Lefty is that you?



SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nThanks for getting in touch, Lefty.

GK:nIs this a good time?

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nIt's as good a time as ever.nJust taking a break from grading papers.n

GK: Where are you?

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nI'm at the schoolhouse, Lefty.nWhere are you?

GK: Texas.

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): Oh.nOkay.nJust thought you might be coming into town, is all.

TR (UNDER):nSee? There you go.



GK:nNot for a while, Evelyn.nWe're down here on the trail.

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nOh.nOkay.nWhat's on your mind, Lefty?

TR (UNDER):nAsk her if she's seeing anybody.

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): What was that, Lefty?


SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nI thought I heard you say something.


TR (UNDER):nSeeing anybody.


SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nSomeone else with you?nn

GK: No. Just clearing my throat is all.n

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): Oh.nOkay then. Well nice to see you Lefty. You're looking well.

GK:nYou too Evelyn.nYou look lovely. I like your hair that way. Any reason you decided to pin it up like that? Anyone tell you you look nice that way.n

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): Just you.

GK:nSo... Life is good?

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): It's all right.

GK:nYou spending time with people?

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nHere and there, sure.

GK:nAnybody special?

TR (OFF):nThere you go.


SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): They're all special to me, Lefty.


GK:nHow many are we talking about here?

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nHow many what?

TR (OFF): Uh oh.

GK:nNothing. So nobody more special than any of the others?

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nYou mean am I seeing anybody?

GK:nIf that's what you want to talk about, sure--

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nIs that what you're asking?

GK:nYou can tell me if you want.n

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nTell you what?

GK:nWhat you want to tell me.

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nWhat are you asking, Lefty?

GK:nWhatever you want to talk about.

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nDidn't you call me?

GK:nIt's okay. I can go.


SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): I don't understand you Lefty. You leave for months at a time and then you call me so you can avoid asking me if I'm seeing someone?n Is that what this is?

GK:nIt's okay.nNever mind.

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nIs that a campfire behind you?

GK:nYes it is.

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): Looks romantic.

GK:nI guess it could be, under certain circumstances. (GUITAR STRUMS)

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nWow. You've got your guitar, huh?


SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): Sing me a song.

GK: You sure?

SS (EVELYN ON CHAT): Of course I'm sure.

GK: Okay, but if you change your mind, just say so.



Life at times has been a lonely struggle
Down a dusty trail against the sky
But you're the woman I have always dreamed of
Hoping I will see you by and by.
Moonlight and I'm sitting by a campfire
Out here on the prairie feeling blue
Listening to the owl and coyote choir
Wishing I were back up north with you.
L'amour for moi is my jes nes sais quoinnnnnnnn
And you are the prettiest girl I ever saw.
Moonlight on a lonely night in Texas
How I wish that I were there with you.

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nYou're breaking up, Lefty. What was that last line, Lefty?

GK:nIt was "How I wish that I were there with you"...

SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): I can't hear you.nLefty? Are you there? Lefty?


TR: Uh oh.nLooks like you lost your connection there.

TK: Hey. One of you guys just Twitter me?

TR:nNo, sir.

TK: Somebody Twittered and said the cows have all scattered.

TR:nSorry, we don't do Twitter.

TK: How d'ya expect to keep track of 10,000 cattle without Twitter? C'mon, let's mount up. (BEEPS) Whoa. Let me see what this is. Smoky's texting me.n

GK:nWhat'd he say?

TK: Says the herd is a mile south of here and heading for the arroyo.

TR:nBetter ride.

TK:nAnd he says, Thanks for the email you sent, it really made me feel better about myself. Let's go! (GIDDYUPS, HORSES WHINNY, HOOVES GALLOPING)


SS (ANNC):nThe lives of the Cowboys.nBrought to you by Spanish Johnny Designer Spandex Chaps.