GK: ......right after this message from the American Creamery Association. (PIANO)

SS (MOM): If you'd rather not come for Thanksgiving, I understand ------- it's perfectly okay, I don't want to pressure anybody into coming. I would rather sit here alone in the kitchen and eat a frozen turkey dinner than force my children to drive all the way across town to be with me against their will. I'll just sell the house and give all my money to the church and live on the street in a cardboard box with all my stuff in a grocery cart, rather than drag you here against your will for Thanksgiving. ---- But----- if you do come, could you pick up some butter? (MUSIC UP)

GK: Yes----- the secret of a happy Thanksgiving is butter. (SFX) Baste regularly with a big brush (SFX). Inject melted butter with a butter gun. (SFX) And before serving, put a few pats of butter on top. (PLOPS) It's the secret of every great cuisine. (TR FRENCH) No matter what country you're from, butter is the passport to pleasure. (TR ARABIC) Everybody's a little cranky around the holidays (TR GLOOMY SWEDE) but you slip a little butter into the crankcase and it's Buon Giorno time (TR ECSTATIC ITALIAN). Be happy ---- use butter.

The holidays are here again,
The relatives appear again
Decorate the chandelier again
The holidays are here again.
Let's have our Thanksgiving feast
And make sure it is well-greased
Get out your cookie cutter now
It's time to see your mutter now
And bring her lots of butter now.

GK: A word from the American Creamery Association. (BIG PIANO CHORDS)