(PHONE RINGS 3X, PICKUP)
GK:nHello?
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Duane? Honey is that you?n
GK:nMom?
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE, FAINT):nI didn't get you at a bad time, did I Duane?
GK:nI was just sitting and listening to the radio, Mom.
SS: Listening to the radio----- are you not feeling well?
GK: I'm okay. Where are you?
SS: Your dad and I came down to Florida. We're looking at condos.
GK:nCondos?nI thought you liked it in Minnesota?
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Well, we're looking for a condo community, Duane. A community sort of thing. You know. Where you get visitors once in a while. Instead of spending day after day staring at the phone, waiting for it to ring. Wondering if everybody had forgotten about us. So.
(LONG BEAT)
GK:nIs this about me not coming over for Halloween?
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): We had a wonderful Halloween. We had 27 small children come trick-or-treating and we posed for pictures with each and every one of them.nAs though they were our own grandchildren.n
GK:nGreat.
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE):nWe had the time of our lives.nOr what's left of it.
GK:nOkay mom. Glad you had fun.n
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Anyway your dad and I have always loved Florida. And we found a place.nIt's called Gratitude Acres, and they have all new carpeting, a high-tech security system, and an adjustable whirlpool bath! And there's a nice guestroom with its own bath. A room where someone could come and live with you if he wanted. Isn't that nice?
(A BEAT)
GK: Mom--
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE):nYou don't have to make up your mind now.nJust think about it.nMull it over for a while.
GK: I don't think that's necess--
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE):n ---talk to your dad about it. He's right here-----
GK: I don't really have any--
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE, OFF): Hank! (TR MURMURS) You wanna talk to your son?n(TR MURMURS) He's on the phone right now, he wants to talk to you.n(FUMBLES WITH PHONE)
TR (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE):nHello.
GK:nHi dad.n
TR (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Hey.nHow's it going?
GK:nPretty good.n
TR (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): So what's going on?n
GK:nNot much.
(A BEAT)
TR (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Yeah. Same here.
GK:nGood.
TR (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Yeah. Nice and peaceful.
GK: I guess so. (A BEAT)nSo you're moving to Florida?
TR (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE):nOh maybe. I'm just waiting to hear the verdict.
GK:nYou know you can weigh in on it too, dad.
TR (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Oh. Okay.
GK:nYou know that, don't you?
(A BEAT)
TR (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Well good talking to you son.
GK:nDad?
TR (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE):nI'll give you back to your mother.
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE, OFF):nHow many bars do we have? (TR MURMURS)nIs it three or four?n(TR MURMURS)nIt looks like three to me.
GK:nHello?
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE):nDuane? Honey are you still there?
GK:nI'm here mom.
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Now Duane honey, if you want me to send airfair to Florida, just say the word and the check is in the mail.
GK:nYou don't need to give me money, mom.
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE):n No pressure, Duane.nYou can stay in Minnesota if you want.n
GK:nOkay.
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE):nYou can hunker down there in Minnesota and your dad and I will go to Florida and learn to mambo.nWe'll have drinks with umbrellas and you can stay there and shovel the walk and eat antidepressants by the fistful.nUp to you.
GK:nOkay.SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): And up in Minnesota, you'll be totally free.n
GK:nMom.n
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE):nAnd it's good practice for when we're gone for good.n
GK:nDon't do this.
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Think of Florida as the boarding gate and we've got one-way tickets to the great beyond.
(SS SOBS, SNIFFLE): Thanksgiving, Duane. That might be your last chance to see us. Because I'm not planning to have reviewal at my funeral.
GK: Mom.
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): What?
GK:nI'll come for Thanksgiving.
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE):nYou will?
(A BEAT, SNIFFLING)
GK:nI will.
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Really? This isn't some sadistic hoax-----
GK:nI'll be there.
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE):nGratitude Acres.
GK:nOkay mom. Thanks for calling.
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE):nYou're going to love this guest room, Duane.nIt's got your name all over it. The name Duane.
GK:nOkay mom. Looking forward to seeing it.
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Bring some clothes and leave them in the closet.
GK: I will.
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE):nOkay, bye, love you honey.
GK:n Love you mom.