(MUSIC)
GK (SINGS):
Let's fly to Paris
Don't be embarrassed
I'll marry you there.
No one so fair as
You darling mon cher
Let's fly to Paris
Let's be a pair
GK: I am a very nearsighted person and I wear thick glasses that make my eyes look like a giant insect's which was a problem when I was 17 ------
SS (TEEN): You want to what? Go out with me? ARE YOU SERIOUS? Think what that would do to my reputation. Me---- going out with Bug Eyes. Ha. So long. (RUNNING FEET, AWAY)
GK: Fortunately I found a woman who was blind.
AS: Hi. You're tall, aren't you? I can tell by your voice. And this is my dog, Challenger. (PANTING) Do you mind if he sniffs you? (SNIFFING) Are you handsome?
GK: Yes.(GROWL)
AS: Sit, Challenger.
GK: People say I'm good-looking. (GROWL)
Some people do.
AS: Challenger, what's wrong?
GK: Does your dog have a problem with his vision?
AS: Read the eye chart, Challenger.
TK (DOG): Bn Cn Xn Kn Wn Mn D On Vn ----
GK: Amazing. (STING, BRIDGE) We dated for awhile and we earned good money singing on the street (TRAFFIC PASSING) ----
GK & AS (SING):
When the shadows of this life have gone
I'll fly away
Like a bird from these prison walls I'll fly
I'll fly away.
Chorus:
I'll fly away, oh Glory
I'll fly away in the morning
When I die Hallelujah, by and by
I'll fly away.
(BRIDGE)
GK: People pity a guy with thick glasses but when I take the glasses off the world becomes soft and romantic like a Renoir painting. Here's the world with my glasses.
(PIANO MARCH, STIFF)
GK: And here's without:
(PIANO ARPEGG INTO SOFT DEBUSSY-LIKE ROMANCE)
GK: Here's with glasses.
SS: Your report was due yesterday. Where is it?
GK: And this is without glasses.
SS: (HUSKY): Touch me, hold me, my body aches for you, take me in your arms, love me.
GK: The world with my glasses-----
TR (SCROOGE): You're late again, Mr. Cratchit! Christmas Day is no excuse to pick a man's pocket. And you know what I'm going to do about it?
GK: World without glasses-----
TR (SCROOGE): I'm going to give you a big raise, Mr. Cratchit. And Tiny Tim is going to walk again and the economy is on the rebound. Yes sir!!!n
GK: A person needs to have these two sensibilities, you need to be able to take your glasses off----
TR: I CELEBRATE myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.
GK: And sometimes you need to put your glasses back on--
TR: What am I talking about? That's crazy.(BRIDGE)
GK: Two sensibilities at one time ----- wild hope and stark realism. I'm a romantic at heart and she was a realist----
AS: (SOFTLY): What are you thinking?
GK: Me? I'm thinking you're the love of my life and I want to fly to Paris with you and be wildly happy, living on the streets and singing our songs.
AS: Oh.
GK: What are you thinking?
AS: I'm thinking that I can't fly to Paris because I'm supposed to be in my friend Jessica's wedding in April
GK: Tell her you can't. You're in love.
AS: I told her I would.
GK: How well do you know Jessica?AS: I never met her but she's my aunt Emma's cousin's daughter.
GK: And you won't fly to Paris because you're going to be in her wedding?? Babes----
AS: A promise is a promise. (STING, BRIDGE)
GK: Louisa broke up with me and started dating Lenny, the Greek god, but she and I still sang duets on the street because it was good money.
AS & GK (SING):
I'll fly away, oh Glory
I'll fly away in the morning
When I die Hallelujah, by and by
I'll fly away.
GK: We keep singing "I'll fly away" but we never do it. Why not? Let's go.
AS: I can't I've got to feed my cat.
GK:
Let's fly to Paris
What can compare
Don't be embarrassed
I'll marry you there.
AS:n I have a dental appointment on Wednesday.
GK: Let's fly to Paris
And have an affair
Let's ride that ferris
Wheel high in the air
AS: I told my mother I'd come help her clean her basement.
GK: Let's fly to Paris
Or maybe Lyon
I don't care as
Long as I'm not alone.
AS: I'm taking my car in to have the brakes checked.
GK: No one so fai as
You darling mon cher
Let's fly to Paris
Let's be a pair
AS: Let me check my schedule. I'll get back to you. (BRIDGE)
GK: I'm a romantic.
TR: (FRENCH)
GK: Two tickets to Paris.
TR: (FRENCH)
GK: One way.
TR: (FRENCH QUESTION):
GK: Non-refundable. Leaving Thanksgiving Day.
TR: (FRENCH QUESTION, "Thanksgiving"?
GK: It's the third week of November. Big turkey dinner, cranberries.
TR: (FRENCH QUESTION)
GK: Of course, first class. Hang the expense.
TR: (GERMAN, CRISP ORDERS)
GK: Put my glasses on???? No no no no no.
TR (GERMAN ORDER)
GK: I'd really rather not.n
TR: (LOW GERMAN THREAT)
GK: Very well. I'll put them on then. (CRUNCH) Whoops. Broken. (CRUNCH) Completely.
AS: Darling!!!
GK: You're all dressed up. I love that shade of pink.
AS: Let's go, darling. Paris. You and I.
GK: Let's fly.
AS & GK:
Oh, how glad and happy we will be
I'll fly away
To Provence and also Normandie
And Chardonnay.
In Chardonnay, O Glory, In Chardonnay
When I die, with my hand upon your thigh
I'll fly away
GK: When I die, Lord I ask you please
May it be while enjoying a blue cheese
And Pouilly-Fuisse
AS/GK: Pouilly Fuisse, O Pouilly Fuisse
When I die with my hand upon your thigh