GK: We're at Tanglewood on a summer afternoon, the big crowd under the shed, the crowd out on the lawn. (GULLS) And a small plane flying overhead (SFX) towing a long banner that says ---- WE LOVE IRA GLASS. The crowd under the shed looking up warily at the pigeons in the rafters (SFX), the crowd on the lawn putting on sunscreen (SQUORTS, SLATHERING). A man on a rider mower (SFX) cutting grass back under the trees. Some people under the shed with headphones on, listening to the Red Sox game. (BASEBALL ANNC, TINY METALLIC). People on the lawn a younger crowd (YOUTHFUL CRIES), and I see beer being consumed (POP TOP) and champagne (POP CORK) and big dogs running around (SFX) and Frisbee (SFX) and a girl in a tiny bikini (WHEE) running for a Frisbee that a dog is chasing (SFX) and she leaps (WHEE) and her bikini snaps (SFX) and the dog catches the Frisbee (SFX) and a man shakes up his champagne (SFX) and sprays foam on the naked girl (SFX) and covers her with it and the man on the rider mower (SFX) offers her a ride and away she goes. A beautiful crowd on a beautiful day and many of them looking up at the stage as if waiting for a show to start and now a man walks out on stage (SFX) with a Chihuahua (SFX) and a Rhode Island Red hen (SFX) and a chainsaw and it appears to me as if (HEN) he is going to juggle them (CAT) and I believe he is, yes, (CHAINSAW STARTS) he is going to juggle a Rhode Island hen and a Chihuahua and a chainsaw ---- (JUGGLING) and it's amazing, absolutely amazing...
GK: ...people here have never seen anything like it, a chicken and a chainsaw and a Chihuahua, and now his assistant tosses him a raw chuck roast (SQUISH) and he's juggling the chicken, Chihuahua, chainsaw and chuck roast, and people here have never seen anything like this, and ---- wait, what is this? ---- a small child? (CHILD) ----- this man is going to juggle a child----- yes he is------ a chainsaw and a Chihuahua and a chicken, plus the chuck roast, and the child ------(JUGGLING) all of them in the air at one time, as the small plane towing the WE LOVE IRA GLASS banner flies in low for a closer look (SFX) and the naked girl on the rider mower comes by (SFX) and people are shooting videos of the juggler (SFX) as his assistant comes out with a----- incredible ------ a Chinese gong (SFX) and he is juggling a child, a Chihuahua, a chuck roast, a chicken, a chainsaw, and a Chinese gong ----- and you have to wonder, what will they do next? Who can follow this amazing opening act? (AMAZING BAND TUNE)