GK: ... brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board.

(PIANO)

TR: These are the good years for Barb and me. A truck got stuck in the mud and two cases of balsamic vinegar fell out on our lawn, so now we're all set with that. I sent all of my suits to Goodwill so now I don't have to look at them and remember that I'm unemployed. The neighbor's dog who used to bark all night ran off with the UPS man. We should have been happy. And then, late one night, I found Barb digging around in the basement...

(RUMMAGE SOUNDS)

TR: - Honey, what's wrong?

SS: Oh, Jim. I wish I were more creative, like your sister. Those wonderful napkin holders she makes out of small engine parts. These old license plates that she made into placemats. I wish I could do that. And all these seashells that she painted little sayings on. "Live Large." And here's one that she glued a little clock onto.

TR: We tell time with our cellphones, Barb. We don't need clocks in seashells.

SS: Oh, face it, Jim. I don't have a creative bone in my body. I can't make things and my memoir is a big nothing too.

TR: You've written a memoir?

SS: Yes. The words just came to me in a flood. I'm only the vessel.

TR: Oh. What's it about? Us?

SS: Some of it's about us.

TR: What's it called?

SS: It's called "It Is What It Is"

TR: You know, Barb, maybe you're not getting enough ketchup. Ketchup has natural mellowing agents that smooth out the ripples in our fast-paced lives and allow us to see the fantastic beauty and excitement that's right in front of us in the everyday.

SS: Maybe I could glue ketchup caps to saucers and make them into candleholders

TR: Maybe I should take a look at this memoir--

RD (SINGS) :

These are the good times, under sunny skies
The glory of the sunset, the beauty of sunrise
Life is flowing, like ketchup on French fries.

GK: Ketchup. For the good times.

RD: Ketchup... ketchup...