GK: It is the holiday season when each person can make his or her own holiday, depending on your taste. You can go for Hannukah, which is Christmas Lite (ALL: hey) OR you can go for the tasteful version of Christmas----
TR (HIGH ANGLICAN): And suddenly there appeared unto the shepherds a host of Episcopalians who touched the earth with their wingtips.
GK: Or you can go for the old pagan Christmas. (BEERY MUTTERING, BOTTLE OPENING, POURING, CHEERS)
FN: BRING IN THE YULE LOG!!!
SS (COCKNEY); Bring in the Yule log!
TR: Gotcher Yule log here.
FN: Light the Yule log. (BLOWTORCH, POOF OF FLAME. BEERY YELLING)
TR: HERE COME THE DRUIDS.
(DRUID CHANTING, WITH BELLS......Wassail, wassail, wassail, the drinks are colossal, and wassail makes you docile......to heck with the apostles, let's drink some wassail. )
SS (COCKNEY): Bring in the mince pies!
TR: Mince pies! Mince pies!
SS (COCKNEY): Bring me the goose! (GOOSE HONKING)
TR:Gimme the axe. Hold him steady. (GOOSE) (BIG EFFORT, SWING, AXE CHUNK. GOOSE) Missed him. Let me try again. (BIG EFFORT, SWING, AXE CHUNK) Owwwwww. Chopped me own foot off, I did.
SS: Well, let's eat that.
FN: Christmas pudding here-----
TR: CHRISTMAS PUDDING. (SQUORTS, JIGGLES)
SS: That's a right good Christmas pudding, it is.
FN: Here comes the Christmas tree.
DRUID CHANTING: Here's the ivy, here's the holly. Banish all your melancholy. Don't want data or retrieval, boy it's fun to be medieval. It's the life everyone wants. We don't need no renaissance. You can have your Reformation. We prefer inebriation. Drinking, eating, fornication. You can go to Sunday School. We are pagans. We love Yule. GRUNTING CONTINUES, MEDIEVAL INSTRUMENTS, MARCHING OFF.
GK: It's up to you. Tasteful-----
(TRUMPET FANFARE)
GK: Or pagan.
GRUNTING, MEDIEVAL INSTRUMENTS.