GK: We're in the thick of a presidential election that has confounded pollsters and pundits because the American people keep changing their minds. They think one thing and do another. Everybody has a pretty good idea who stands where on the issues, so it's not about that anymore -- it's more about who's more likable.

TR (BUSH): Heh heh heh. That's why they voted for me. Didn't know squat about foreign policy but, hey-- I was easier to be with. Give you a cute nickname, mess up your hair a little. Good times. You ever take a road trip with a Nobel Peace Prize winner? Huh? Makes you wanna just get out and walk.


TR (GORE): If we continue down this road we're facing utter disaster'a total catastrophe made even worse by its maddening predictability--

GK: It's I-94 East-we've always gone this way--

TR (GORE): The warning signs all around us. Stop this car.

GK: I can't stop in the middle of the highway--

TR (GORE): Turn it around, and go the other way. P.S., it may already be too late.

GK: People look at a candidate and they wonder what would it be like to be on a long car trip with them. Barack Obama. Imagine leaving Chicago with him and heading west toward Iowa. (MUSIC)


TR (OBAMA): We're headed to a place of improbable joy. Where you see all sorts of faces. Young and old. Rich and poor. Black and white. Asian and Latino.

GK: Okay but do I turn right here? Do you have the map?

TR (OBAMA): We don't need a map. Because I want to fundamentally change the way people get from point A to point B. I have the imagination to see the unseen.

GK: I'd like to see the unseen map, if you don't mind--(HORNS, TRAFFIC)

TR (OBAMA): Because I believe in simple dreams, in the hope of small miracles-

GK: It's going to be a small miracle if we ever get there-

TR (OBAMA): Together we can get there. Not you over there and me over here-but us, moving forward, together, in this car'yes we can. Yes we can.


GK: A candidate with a vision, and then there's a candidate with experience.

SS (HILLARY): That was our exit. You missed it.

GK: Really?

SS (HILLARY): We were at a crossroads, and you drove right by it.

GK: We're fine. I think.

SS (HILLARY): Listen. I have 35 years of experience being a passenger in a car, and I think I know an exit when I see one.

GK: We'll get there--

SS (HILLARY): I just don't think you're hearing my voice. I'm listening to your voice, and I'm responding with my voice, which I have found by listening to a diversity of voices-(CAR TURNS) Okay what are you doing now?

GK: I'm taking this exit.

SS (HILLARY): This isn't a game, you know. This is about real lives. Yours and mine. And you know I have met so many lives. Like nurses and teachers and pet groomers, and the high school wrestling coaches. And let's not forget the auto repair persons.

TR (CLINTON): What's going on up there? You all woke me up.

SS (HILLARY): Go back to sleep, Bill. I can handle this.

TR (CLINTON): Just wondering if you've still got those Oreos up there.

SS (HILLARY): I gave them to you an hour ago, Bill.

TR (CLINTON): Oh yeah. Right. Well look at that . I'm sitting on them. They're still good. (CRUNCHING)


GK: Two candidates in one, both experienced, and then there's the candidate who talks straight.

TR (McCAIN): My friend you'll want to go North on 63.

GK: I thought you said South.

TR (McCAIN): My friend we all want to go South. But sometimes you have to go North in order to go South. And nobody is more qualified to speak that truth than I am.

GK: The exit's right ahead, what should I do?

TR (McCAIN): Let me tell you my friend just how honored I am to be in this car with you. It's a privilege and a pleasure and I am ready to be your passenger.

GK: North or South. Coming up here--

TR (McCAIN): I think if everybody would just settle down, we can unite this car and move ahead as one vehicle and make our way to where we need to go, which I have always pointed out clearly, even if everyone else was going in another direction. Why? Because you are my friend.


GK: The long car trip standard of political viability. Try it yourself in the weeks ahead. --The car-trip standard. It's elected a lot of presidents over the years. People didn't necessarily agree with them about everything but they just seemed easier to get along with.

TR (REAGAN): Well, here we go again. I love car trips. Anywhere we go is fine by me. Care for some jellybeans? Look over there. Sun's coming up.

GK: I think it's setting. That's west.

TR (REAGAN): Sun sets and it comes up again. What comes around goes around. Go with the flow. (HE SINGS)
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose,
nothing ain't worth nothing less it's free.
Feeling good was easy, Lord, when I ignored the news.
You know feeling good was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and the G.O.P.