(SYMPATHETIC PIANO)
Tim Russell: THE STORY OF THE LITTLE MATCH MAN.
Once upon a time it was October and people were festive (WHOOPS. POP OPEN BEER. SS: Yawohl, mein Schatz.) They put on their leather shorts and danced around. (WHOOPING) And drank beer. (BELCH)
ALL (SING): Ja ja ja ja
Das ist Oktober, mein schatz.
TR: Large happy people in leather shorts with big pitchers in their hands.
ALL (SING): Ja ja ja ja
Danzen und singen mitt bier.
TR: The trees turning gold and yellow and orange and the smoke of the ancestral bratwurst fires in the air.
ALL (SING): Ja ja ja ja
Bratwurst and strudel mitt schlag.
TR: They were singing and dancing and they didn't notice the sky turning cold and gray --(CHILL CHORDS) winter was coming and the tundra was freezing -- the squirrels noticed (SQUIRRELS) and the bear noticed (BEAR) and the birds headed south (FLOCK OF GEESE GOING OVERHEAD) and eventually the partygoers noticed (CROWD LEAVING PARTY, GOODBYES), all except for one -- a man whose head was full of romance --
(GK SING: O mio mio, O mio mio-- O mio-- ) and he was caught in the storm (BLIZZARD) -- (GK: Help, help!) and when the storm passed -- (MINOR CHORDS) he had nothing -- he was cold (SHIVER) -- it was dark. (WIND) All he had was a few matches to try to sell to passersby (GK: Matches? Matches-- please? SS: Beat it, creep.) but nobody needed matches because nobody smoked in Minnesota anymore. His money gone, (GK SIGH), his hope extinguished (GK: Heaven, help me), he lit one of his matches (SFX) to warm his hands and there in the flame he saw the face of his beloved grandmother (SS:
Go to the bus depot. It's warm there. GK: Okay--) and he went to the bus depot. (GK: It's so warm. And there are vending machines.) (TR BUS ANNC ON P.A.: Departing now at Gate 4 -- for Cannon Falls, Zumbrota, Rochester, Chatfield, Preston, Lanesboro.)
GK: Lanesboro. I wonder what that would be like. Probably I'll never get there. Probably I'll just sink into despair.
Inga Swearingen (REVERB): No, you won't. I'm your guardian angel, Joanne.
GK: My guardian angel! Where have you been? Huh?
IS (REVERB): Wisconsin.
GK: Wisconsin?!?
IS (REVERB): Green Bay. Lambeau Field. I got Packers season tickets-isn't that amazing?!?! Finally, in the afterlife--
GK: But I need you-I'm suffering'you're supposed to help me--
IS (REVERB): Don't worry, little match man. I'm here now. To watch over you. (SINGS)
There's a place for us, somewhere a place for us.
Hold my hand and I'll take you there.
Green Bay, Oshkosh, LaCrosse, Eau Claire.
For us. By bus.
TR (ANNC, P.A.): Departing now at Gate 2...for Belle Plaine, LeSueur, St. Peter, Mankato, Winnebago, Blue Earth.
IS (REVERB): You want to go someplace?
GK: No. I just want to be warm. And have someone to love.
IS (REVERB): I can arrange that. (SHE SINGS)
Here in the bus depot in St. Paul
Smelling of bus fumes and Lysol
And the old plastic seats are scratched and cracked
Winter is here and that's a fact
But behold someone appears who is loving and fair
Even though she comes with a questionnaire.
(VOCAL SCAT)
SS: Excuse me. Can I talk to you? I am doing, like, a survey on homeless people? You know? So, first of all, I mean, like, are you homeless?
GK: Yes, I am.
Sue Scott: Okay. (WRITES) "Is currently homeless." Okay. So which of these would describe feelings that you have, like, had recently or are having currently-- "Feel you are lost in the world"
GK: Yes.
SS: Okay. -- Feel as if nobody cares about you anymore.
GK: Yes.
(INGA VOCALIZES)
SS (TO HERSELF): Oh my gosh, what is happening to me, this is, like, totally ridiculous, I am like doing a survey and that is IT, and here I am talking to this homeless person, and yet'I don't know. I'm strangely drawn to him or something. (HEARTBEAT) I wonder what would happen if I kissed him. No. Don't think that. Stop it. Stop it.
GK: Would you like to buy matches? They're a quarter apiece. Which might seem expensive to you'I mean I know they're usually free'but they're all I've got. And if I sell three of them, I'll have enough to buy a candy bar.
SS: But I never use matches.
GK: Never mind. I shouldn't have asked you. I'll just ask this man here-- sir?
Tom Keith (DRUNK): Could you spare me a dollar so I can take my novel to Kinko's and get it printed out to send to my editor?
GK: You're a novelist?
TK (DRUNK): Sure. Of course. That's why I wrote the novel.
GK: You're a published novelist?
TK (DRUNK): I think so. I forget. I was hoping she could tell me.
GK: Who? ----Never mind. (FOOTSTEPS) Excuse me-- sir?
TR: Yes.
GK: You seem like a very kind gentleman there in your houndstooth jacket and bowtie and black loafers -- could you possibly see fit to purchase matches from me so that I can get a candy bar?
TR: No, but I'd be happy to give you these pills.
GK: What are these?
TR: These are anti-depressants. You see, stress can cause a shortage of serotonins in the body, an important neurotransmitter, but these pills are reuptake inhibitors that leave more neurotransmitters in the synapses, and help to improve your mood. What do you say?
GK: Sounds good to me. (TWO POPS) (BIG GLISS)
GK: Oh wow. Do I ever! I feel euphoric. I haven't felt this good since I don't know when. (SINGS)
I took a pill and everything he said is true.
And now I'm in love with life and also with you.
Boop boop a doo.
TR: And with great love he struck a match (MATCH LIGHTS) And in the flame he saw a vision of his true love and himself sitting down to a feast of grilled salmon.
SS: You made this?
GK: I made it for you.
SS: Wow--salmon grilled over mesquite and served on a bed of jasmine rice. And a nice white wine, not too dry-- I'm the luckiest girl in the world--
TR: And he sighed. (GK SIGH) And he blew the flame out. And in his euphoria he pulled out a whole fistful of matches -- all the matches he had! -- and in jubilation and gratitude he struck them against the wall. (SFX AND BIG WHOOSH OF FLAME) This time he saw a vision of the two of them going into the church for their wedding-- (GK: Oh boy o boy o boy o boy) -- (KLAXON ALARMS) and that was when the fire alarm went off.
TK (P.A. VOICE): Electronic sensors have detected an open flame in the building. I repeat, we have detected an open flame in the building.
TR: And in just seconds there were flashing red lights (SIREN) everywhere -- (VOICES OF FIREMEN ARRIVING)
GK: What are you doing? where are you taking me?
TK: This way, mister.
TR: Cuff him, Joe. (HANDCUFFS)
SS: I don't know what happened. He came after me with a flame.
TK: We'll put him where he can't hurt you anymore, ma'am.
TR: This way-- watch your head.
GK: Where is my guardian angel?? Where did she go?
IS (SINGS): I am sorry, I was creating a profile on MySpace-
(CAR DOOR SHUTS, SIRENS OFF)
SS (OFF): Little match man!!! No-no please--(SOBS) Come back--
TR: And the little match man was taken away to an undisclosed location and something happened, we're not sure what, they wouldn't say.
IS (SINGS): You'll be okay, little match man, after some therapy to help you confront your fears
Which takes anywhere from sixteen months to five or six years.
After which you will live with supervision
To make sure you don't make a dangerous romantic decision.
Love is dangerous. A lesson that must be learned.
You play with matches you are likely to get burned.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(with GK) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO