Garrison Keillor: ...a word from the Ketchup Advisory Board.

Tim Russell: These are the good years for Barb and me. We've gone on an all-bread diet to bulk up for the winter. So we have less energy. So we're staying home and catching up on old movies. Sitting on the couch, getting closer to each other. It's an old beige couch from when we were first married, we've sort of worn grooves in it, it has a lot of happy memories. We should have been happy. But one day I found Barb at the computer, looking at recreational vehicles online. Barb-what are you doing?

Sue Scott: Oh, Jim. Another winter. I don't think I can stand it. All that darkness and the heavy clothes and the salt and the ice scrapers. I hate the sound of scraping.

TR: Winter's what we live for, Barb. It makes us who we are.

SS: If I have to put on a ski mask again, Jim, I might go and rob a liquor store. Why don't we fly to Hawaii for the winter. Huh? You'd like that. Wouldn't you?

TR: Barb. Look at a map. Hawaii is sitting out there surrounded by thousands of miles of ocean.

SS: So?

TR: I'd feel funny. Plus, I hate wearing shorts, Barb. Because of traumatic childhood memories of summer camp. You know that.

SS: So wear pants, Jim. Lightweight, cotton pants with a drawstring.

TR: I'd rather not. I like my own clothes just fine.

SS: Well, I don't. That purple turtleneck sweater with the antelopes. I loathe it.

TR: The one I gave you for Christmas?

SS: You didn't give me that. ----- Did you?

TR: Nineteen seventy-nine. It cost thirty-five dollars. I kept the receipt.

SS: I just want to explore a different side of ourselves, Jim. I want to wake up in the morning and walk on the beach and breathe the salt air and then eat breakfast outdoors and play a round of golf. Instead of living like animals in a cave.

TR: Barb.

SS: We'll sit under the shade of a banyan tree and do our crosswords and nap on hammocks and in the evening we'll play tennis with our friends.

TR: Barb.

SS: We'll have supper on the lanai and go to bed and sleep with the windows open.

TR: Barb. I wonder if you're getting enough ketchup.

SS: Ketchup----

TR: There's all the sunshine in a bottle of ketchup that a normal person would need. Trust me.

Rich Dworsky (SINGS):
Hello Honolulu
Warm and bright and dreamy
So good to be alive
To be you or to be me
Life is flowing
Like ketchup on sashimi

GK: Ketchup, for the good times.

RD: Ketchup, ketchup.