Garrison Keillor, Walter Bobbie, Tim Russell:
We three kings of Orient are
Tried to Smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded and it exploded (BOOM)


GK, WB:
We two kings of Orient are
Tried to Smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded and it exploded (BOOM)


WB:
I a king of Orient is
Lit that cigar and heard it fizz
It was loaded and it exploded (BOOM)


GK, WB, TR:
Former kings of Orient are we
Smoking ended our monarchy
We were royal and now we're tin foil
From smoking a bad cigar
Oh, cigar of wonder, cigar of day
Cigar that blew us all away
We were wise and now we're guys
With burn marks on our old toupees. (BOOM)