Garrison Keillor: If you're on medications, you know about side effects: drowsiness, inability to operate heavy machinery, dry mouth, nausea, slight limp, distemper, bitter regret, and a lot more. Well now there's a drug that neutralizes the side effects of other drugs. It's called Co-LATTER-all and it moisturizes your mouth (LIQUID), relieves nausea (NAUSEA) and drowsiness (YAWN) and makes you able to operate heavy machinery even if you never did before (DEEP ROAR OF EARTHMOVER). Don't let your medications make you sick, try co-LATTER-all.

Tim Russell: (LOW FAST): Not available without a prescription for another drug. May turn your skin white. People with pacemakers should check their batteries and wear clean underwear in case of an accident.

Sue Scott (SINGS): Life is a ball
with co-LATTER-all. (GONG)