Garrison Keillor: Why waste your weekend raking leaves when you can make those leaves magically disappear just by calling in Apache Lawn Service (HELICOPTER DESCENDING).
The big chopper descends over your yard and in less than a minute (CHOPPER LOUD) your yard is free of leaves, trash, animals and your hedges are trimmed (CHOPPER BUZZES GROUND). Infrared technology allows Apache to come by any time, day or night. Need a stump removed? We can remove it. (ROCKET LAUNCH, EXPLOSION) Need your lawn aerated. (MACHINE GUN) Just give us a call, we'll be there in minutes...wherever you live! (FIRING UP CHOPPER) Apache Lawn Service. Let us blow you awaaaaaaay!