Garrison Keillor: How many times have you gone to a friend's house and (BIG WOOFS, BOUNDING, COLLAR JINGLE) an enormous beast leaps up on you and (SLOBBERING, LICKING) covers your face with dog spit and--

Tim Russell: Hey, he likes you.

GK: Time for Dog-Gone Pet Repellant (AEROSOL). It's a spray that contains disinfectant that smells like the veterinarian's office. (WHIMPER) It works on cats (MEOW), Ferrets (SFX), hamsters (SFX), and pet monkeys (SFX). May not be effective against snakes (SFX).