Garrison Keillor: Coffee: it's the cold-weather drink. (BLIZZARD, WOLF) Many northerners lost on the frozen tundra have been saved by rescue dogs (BIG WOOFS) carrying canteens of coffee around their necks. Not brandy. (BIG DOG SAYING, NO NO NO) It's coffee. (BIG WOOF) Many northerners in the depths of despair (TR NORSK, DARK) have recovered their sanity with a good steaming hot cup of coffee. (TR NORSK, SATISFACTION)
Now that summer's here (BIRDS), some people may think they can give up coffee, but in fact you need the focus that coffee gives you. With all this daylight, you're going full-tilt sixteen hours a day, other people in the office go on vacation and you've got to run the copier (COPIER ACCEL) and meanwhile the phones are ringing (VARIOUS RINGS, COPIER) and there's a fax coming in (FAX), and now your cellphone is going off (CELL RING), and you're busy (VOICE: YOU'VE GOT MAIL) and now there's a UPS man at the door (DOORBELL) and the copier is going nuts (COPIER WITH ODD REPEATED GLITCH), it's stapling everything together and throwing pages into the air (COPIER ACCEL) and that is setting off the motion detector (ALARM) and now your computer for some reason is melting (SHORTING, BLOOPING) into a big puddle on your desk and the office is filling with dense fog (HISSING) and there seem to be enormous owls flying around (OWLS) and a gigantic carnivorous bird (BIRD SHRIEK) -- you need to get recaffeinated. (THEME STARTS) Yes, when you start to hallucinate during the day, when daydreams of ease and pleasure overtake you, there's nothing like coffee.
Smells so lovely when you pour it,
You will want to drink a quar't
Of coffee.
It's delicious all alone, it's
Also good with doughnuts.
Black coffee.
On the coast of California
Everybody tries to warn ya
The sun is so relaxin
For the average Ango-Saxon
It is hard to stay awake
So you need to take a break and have some coffee.