BACH PARTITA PT 1 (and fade for)
Garrison Keillor: Remember this?
Virginia Madsen: I do.
GK: Ten years ago.
VM: Our first date. Or whatever you call it.
GK: My apartment.
VM: After that awful party at what's their names-- the one where everyone stood around arguing about how Clinton wasn't a real Democrat.
GK: Did I invite you to my apartment?
VM: I invited myself. I thought maybe it slipped your mind, so --
GK: Well, I'm glad you did.
VM: Are you?
GK: I am. Ten years.
VM: You lit a candle and you gave me a glass of wine and you put on the solo violin partitas of Johann Sebastian Bach. And you told me that bad joke, about Bach having 23 kids. That his organ had no stops.
GK: Did I tell you that?
BACH PARTITA PT 2 (and fade for)
GK: We started down the road to parenthood with this music.
VM: One way of thinking about it. --I'm a little worried about her.
GK: Jennifer?
VM: She's eight years old going on twenty-four. She bought a green leather jacket today. She spends hours on the Internet.
GK: I thought we made rules about that. Three months ago when-- when we found out-- what she was doing-- all that stock market stuff.
VM: That was odd. Getting those calls from Goldman Sachs and Merrill Lynch. Having to explain that she was eight years old.
GK: I still can't believe she figured out how to get cash out of our Visa card.
VM: She just typed in the credit card number and six hundred dollars.
GK: And even more amazing-- the fact that she--
VM: The fact that she turned it into $37,000 in just five days.
GK: Five days.
VM: Eight years old.
GK: I think she was looking at gross earnings tables and seeing shapes of animals or something. Boy, you have children, you have no idea what it's going to lead to. You're in an apartment listening to a Bach violin partita and the next thing you've got a tiny tycoon on your hands.
VM: Our eight-year-old child earned $36,400 in five days.
GK: Well, we were right to crack down and take the money away and put it into a savings account. She was unhappy about it but it was the right thing.
BACH PARTITA PT 3 (and fade for)
VM: I have a confession to make.
GK: What?
VM: I let her keep the money.
GK: No.
VM: I did.
GK: Why?
VM: Thirty-six thousand dollars is nothing to sneeze at.
GK: You let her keep it?
VM: She reinvested it.
GK: And?
VM: I found out on Monday that our daughter is worth more than we are. Twice as much, in fact. She owns our house, honey.
GK: This is her house? But --
VM: She had the cash on hand, so-- what could I say? The mortgage was killing us.
GK: But she's only eight. (HORN OFF) What's that?
VM: Antonio. Her driver.
GK: What?
VM: Her driver.
GK: Her driver?
VM: You didn't notice that I'm not driving her around anymore?
GK: She's going around in a Lincoln town car?
VM: Right. It's a very safe car. She uses a seat belt.
GK: It's kind of late for her to be coming home, isn't it?
VM: She's going out.
GK: Out??? But--
BACH PARTITA NO. 4 (FADES FOR)
Sue Scott (ADENOIDAL GIRL): Mom?
VM: Jennifer?
SS (ADENOIDAL GIRL): Where's Dad?
GK: Right here, honey.
SS (ADENOIDAL GIRL): Oh. -- Mom, I decided I'm going to move into this room.
VM: Our room?
SS (GIRL): I just like it better. My room is so dark. And small. Yours is bigger and you've got more windows.
GK: It's noisier though.
SS (GIRL): I like noisy. -- Why don't you take my room?
GK: Us?
SS (GIRL): No, just you. Mom and I are best friends.
GK: Aren't we friends?
SS (GIRL): Sometimes. Not lately.
GK: Well--
VM: It's okay. It's only for awhile. She's a little upset about you interfering with her investment--
SS (GIRL): Don't talk about me in the third person. I hate that.
VM: Daddy's going to move into your room and this can be the girls' room for awhile and we'll all just try to get along and everybody'll be happy. Okay?
GK: Honey--
VM: Okay?
SS (GIRL): You know how much I earned today? I made twenty-eight thousand four-hundred and sixty-seven dollars and thirty-six cents.
(PAUSE TWO BEATS)
VM: This is so good for your math skills. (PAUSE TWO BEATS) Don't forget your pillow.
GK: Thanks.
BACH PARTITA UP TO FINISH