Garrison Keillor: ...after a word from the Catchup Advisory Board.
Sue Scott: These are the good years for Jim and me. We went out to Boulder last week to visit Jim's sister who was holding a memorial service for her dog. Kind of a celebration of his life and -- it was nice. It was at a campground and about a three hundred people came and brought their dogs and it went on for a whole weekend and the sound of dulcimers brought back a lot of memories and anyway we decided to give up coffee, because it was making us too aggressive. We bought some herbal tea, and it was so relaxing I forgot where I parked the car. Somewhere downtown. And I guess I left my shoes inside it. Or someplace else. I don't know.
Tim Russell: I've got to say, Barb -- I don't understand my sister and that guy and their living arrangement. I just don't think it's right.
SS: It's an "alternative lifestyle." It's called LAT. Living alone together. She's vegan and he's a carnivore, and he's a bagpiper and she's a painter and she loves dogs and cats and he keeps snakes and geckos-- they're very different people.
TR: But she's in Boulder and he's in Denver? She said she sees him about every other week. What kind of a relationship is that?
SS: Sounds pretty good to me.
TR: Sounds good? You want to live apart?
SS: I think living apart makes you appreciate each other when you get together. So you don't waste all your time arguing about who lost the car keys.
TR: You lost the car keys, Barb. I found them in the refrigerator.
SS: See, that's what I mean, Jim. How can you have a relationship that's based on blame?
TR: Barb, I don't see the point of people being together if they're not going to be together. It seems like kind of a sham.
SS: Oh, Jim. Don't you think it'd be nice to have some alone time? Be around your own things without someone else's things mixed in once in a while?
TR: That's why men have basements, Barb. And women have the upstairs.
SS: Well I don't think it's the same, but never mind.
TR: Are you trying to tell me something, Barb? Do you want to try a LAN relationship?
SS: Well of course not, Jim. I didn't mean us. I just meant that living apart works for some people. And that's ok.
TR: Because there are some nice apartments for sale in that complex over by the freeway. I could make some calls.
SS: I don't want you to move out, Jim. I would miss you very much. And besides, who would get things off the top shelf if you left?
TR: That's true, Barb. You'd have to get a stepladder.
SS: Sharing is complicated, Jim. Remember the time you shared your shellfish platter with me and I spent the night with my head in the toilet?
TR: Yes I do, Barb. And I held your hair to keep it fairly clean.
SS: Well I appreciate that Jim. That's one thing you can't do for yourself.
TR: You know, I wonder if you've been getting enough ketchup. Ketchup contains natural mellowing agents that help you tolerate other people on a daily basis.
SS: You're right, Jim. We may disagree about other things, but we still have ketchup in common.
Rich Dworsky (SINGS):
These are the good times for working issues out
To talk about our differences, not jump around and shout
Life is flowing like ketchup on smoked trout
GK: Ketchup, for the good times.
RD: Ketchup, ketchup